


If at first you don't succeed

by Writer_Anarchy



Series: If at first you don't succeed [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/F, First Love, High School, Multi, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Anarchy/pseuds/Writer_Anarchy
Summary: Emma Swan moves to Storybrooke, Maine to live with her new foster parents the Nolans. She's got a new home, new school, new friends and a new crush. Shame it happens to be her new teacher.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm so happy to be posting this fic, I've had this idea in my head for quite some time.  
> If you pick up on anything incorrect regarding the American school system that's because I'm British. Sorry about that.  
> I will happily take criticism.  
> Please comment if you like it, would love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> This is AU, Not all OUAT characters are in this story, however, that's because there will be a sequel where some new faces will be making an appearance.
> 
> And lastly, thank you so much in advance for reading x

 

Ugh, Mondays. Undeniably the worst day of the week.

Not only are Mondays the first day of the school week, but this particular Monday marks the first day at another new school for Emma Swan. And that is never a good day.

6:30am blinks arrogantly on the alarm clock. A bright contrast to the darkness of the room. And, with that metaphorical splash of ice water to the face, Emma groans and rolls over in her bed. It’s not that she hates early mornings, in fact, early mornings have always been Emma’s favorite time of the day. The isolation it brings; no one else awake, no busy traffic crowding the roads. Just silence and sunrises. Well, usually anyway.

The downstairs clattering and humming to Taylor Swift, clearly indicates she isn’t alone. Rolling out of bed and throwing on an oversized grey hoodie, to add a little warmth to the shorts and thin strap top she wore to bed, Emma groggily makes her way down the stairs to greet her foster mother. Emma’s had a lot of foster mothers, eight to be accurate. Making Mary Margaret her ninth.

And with that kind of history, it means she’s known all types of mothers.

There is the strict type; that yell at you over any mild inconvenience in their life.

The uninterested type; no matter what you do, they barely even act like you exist.

The overly interested; (otherwise known as nosey) they’re the type who raid your room to see what secrets your hiding.

The cruel (which I think that one is self-explanatory) and finally, the kind type.

And that’s what Mary Margaret is. She cooks breakfast every morning. Every single morning, honest to god home cooked meals. It’s amazing.

She always pops her head in Emma’s room every single night to wish her sweet dreams and, she always wants to listen to literally anything and everything Emma might want to talk about. Which, albeit isn’t much. Growing up in home after home where you're told your opinion doesn’t matter, doesn’t really help the whole ‘being open’ thing.

Still, she appreciates Mary Margaret for however long this will last. She's been with her and David now for only a few weeks, so it's only a matter of time. The good ones never last long.

“Hey sweetie, you hungry? I’m making pancakes” Mary always has this overly sweet satisfied look on her face. Like she knows exactly what everyone wants and needs at all times of the day.

“We’ve got choc chips or blueberries. What would you like?”

“Oh. Um, I don’t mind. Whichever is fine, thank you”. The main objective in any home is to not be a hindrance, but especially in the good ones. You want them to want to keep you. So you always say thank you, and always smile. As _gratitude without a smile is just flat_. Well, that’s what one of the older girls in the group home once told Emma when she was six. And she’s never forgotten it.

“Both it is, then” Mary Margret says with a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Are you excited for your first day? You know, David and I both attended Storybrooke high. Of course, we didn’t exactly interact that much at the time” A wistful look passes Mary Margaret's face.

“Wait, you mean to say, you weren’t high school sweethearts, voted most likely to be married by twenty?”

If Mary Margaret was drinking, right about now would be when she would choke on it. Emma was actually joking with her.

A huge smile broke out on Mary Margaret’s face.

“Ha, definitely not. I was the classic high school nerd and David was the dreamy jock”. Mary leans dramatically onto her hand like a day dreaming school girl, staring at her crush for the first time.

“It wasn’t until after college when we reconnected. And, well, the rest is history as they say”

“Hey, don’t write us off yet. Our story is still being written” David finally emerges out of the bedroom, relatively clear he hasn’t just woken up. If Emma was to guess she’d say he had been listening to their whole conversation, wanting to give Mary Margaret the chance to bond with her.

He walks up pressing a kiss to the crown of his wife’s head.

Now normally, any form of public affection would have Emma throwing up in her mouth. However, there is something about David and Mary Margaret.

It’s almost sweet.

 

* * *

 

Ok, here it is. Storybrooke High standing tall and proud in the fast-approaching distance.

It took Emma thirty minutes standing half-dressed in front of her closet, trying to find the perfect outfit. 

The perfect outfit is a tough one. you can't dress too casual and be deemed a slob or poor (Emma's had that one a lot) and you can't dress too nice as then it sets false expectations for the remainder of the year. Not just that, it also means she will stand out. And that can NOT happen.

Emma Walks through the gates with a sense of dread sinking in. Teens everywhere. The first thing Emma noticed was groups. So many groups of kids. There are always groups or cliques no matter what school you go to, it doesn't matter where in the world you go. They exist. 

You have the popular kids, the athletic kids, the nerdy kids, the religious kids, and the outcasts.

No matter who you are, or what you're into. There is always a group for everyone. Except for Emma. 

Emma has spent a lot of her time mastering avoiding any friend requests. It's not that the kids aren't nice. Because they are. It's just why bother getting attached if you're just going to be shipped off at any moment.

Keep your head down, try to not be noticed. That's Emma's mantra. 

However, walking toward the school doors, it's becoming abundantly clear that, that might be slightly difficult this time around. It feels as though every eye is on her. 

Turns out that because they are. _Great_.

 

* * *

 

So far, the school day has been average. Her classes are fine, slightly boring as for the first time in her life she seems to be ahead in every class. Turns out there is a benefit to attending multiple schools in your life. It always meant that Emma worked that much harder than everyone else, trying to either catch up on the missed curriculum or trying to stay ahead so she won't fall behind again.

Being the dumb kid in class, always being asked to stay behind after didn't exactly help with the whole 'don't be noticed' thing. 

And it did help, evidently. Emma is a straight A's kid. Not that, that made her anymore desirable to families.

 

The bell for the last class of the day rings, pulling Emma out of her thoughts.

Grabbing her timetable out of her bag she reads she has English Lit, Room 108. God, she hopes this won't be one of them teachers that make her stand up in front of the whole class and introduce herself. It is literally the worst.

Thankfully so far SB High has been ok, all of her teachers were cool about her being new. Well, all but one. Mr. Gold. He did make her stand up at the front of the class and introduce herself. The evil bastard.

But the rest were cool.

-

The class fills up quickly. Strangely it's the only class today that everyone has seemed to arrive early to.

Emma's at the back of the room, close to the windows in case she's going to be bored to death in this class too. She might as well have something to look at.

The sound of heels clicking harshly against linoleum seemed to stop every student in the class from their conversations. _Weird_. 

Almost like it was rehearsed, everyone seemed to pull their notebooks out of their bags with their pencil cases neatly lined up on their table. _Ok, wow are they even sitting up straighter in their seats?_

Before Emma can question what the hell is going on, their teacher walks through the room. _No, no. scratch that, glides into the room._

Suddenly she completely understands her classmate's enthrallment. 

_Who the hell is this woman and why does she look like she belongs on a poster on someone's bedroom wall?_

The teacher stands at the front of the class, oozing a level of confidence most never have. Her dark hair sits perfectly on her shoulders as if she has just left the stylists.

Her makeup is perfect, not a single sign of exhaustion from the day showing. She has impeccable smokey eye's that if Emma was to try to recreate on her pale ass skin, might look like she just got punched in the eye. But no, on this woman, it looks incredible. As if she wasn't intimidating enough, she's wearing a very expensive looking pantsuit. Slim fitted black trousers that tie off waist high. Paired with a very nice white shirt tucked into the trousers, without even a crease out of place. 

_Oh god, should she have that many buttons on her blouse undone? Is that allowed in a school?_

The outfit is completed by a suit jacket hanging over her arm and the most ridiculous pair of shoes Emma had ever seen a teacher wear. _Surely they're not comfortable?_

By the time Emma looks back up to her face, she notices she's talking. _Oh, crap. How long has she been talking for?_

_Focus swan, breathe. Words they exist._

"Now I know I said, we were going to go through the reading assignment today. However, I changed my mind" A satisfied smirk appears on her teacher's face.

"Rather than me standing here asking you questions about the reading, and you fumbling for a half attempted excuse of an answer. Wasting both my time and your own. I would like you to write your analysis of the piece. I guess we will see which of you bothered to actually do the reading assignment".

Looking around the room, Emma was glad to realize she wasn't the only person terrified. Some of her classmate's looked as though they might throw up. 

_What the hell was the reading assignment? She wouldn't actually be pissed if I haven't done it right? its my first day. I wasn't even here when she set it._

Managing to calm herself slightly, Emma noticed a copy of 'The bell jar' sitting on mostly everyone's desks. 

That knowledge instantly relaxing her. She's read it multiple times, even did an online review for a blog a couple years ago.

Pulling out her notebook, Emma silently gets to work.

She's so into her analysis she hasn't been paying attention to anything happening in the room.

Finishing off her conclusion and deciding she was happy with the overall paper. Emma sits back in her chair and glances up at the clock. Fifteen minutes remain of the class.

She takes this opportunity to glance at her classmates, they seem frantic, still scribbling away, flicking furiously through their copy of the book beside their paper.

Emma's attention is drawn toward the front from a shuffle of papers. But its the woman shuffling the papers that keeps her attention. _What is her name?_

Reaching into her backpack to find the folded timetable, Emma skims through to English Lit. Miss Mills. _Huh, Miss Mills, it is then._

Miss Mills, as if noticing she was being watched, glances up with a frown on her face. Locking eyes with Emma. _Shit, Look away. Blink, do something. Anything._

Emma is frozen, she's sure she's completely red-faced at her embarrassment for being caught staring. But Miss Mills looks amused like she's observing Emma in return. 

Forcing herself to look back down at her paper, Emma sits there staring a hole into her work, whilst double checking for any grammatical errors. Once she feels safe enough to glance back up, Mills Mills has returned her attention to her own work. But there is an amused smirk on her face. _Does she know_ I'm _staring? Shit, stop staring. Why can't I stop staring?_

The final bell of the day rings concluding the end of Emma's panic attack.

She did it, She actually survived her first day here.

"Please place your papers on my desk on your way out of the door" Miss Mills demands to her class as they hurriedly pack their bags, grab their papers and take them to the front.

Emma, still too distracted by Miss Mills realizes shes now the last to leave the class. _Shit_.

Forcefully shoving all of her belongings into her bag, Emma grabs her paper and takes it to Miss Mills desk. Entirely determined to quickly drop it off and practically sprint out the door. However, Luck is something Emma Swan has never had.

Just as she places her paper on the desk, Miss Mills picks it up instantly. Clearly impressed by the three-page analysis Emma seems to have written. Which as it turns out, stands out a fair amount compared to the one page or even half a page analysis some of the students had written.

"Thank you, Miss Swan. I look forward to reading it". _She knows my name. How does she know my name?_

_Oh, Christ, I'm not talking. Say something, Emma._

"Oh" _Well that's a start._ "Um... thank you" Emma manages to stumble out, with a shy smile, an increasingly reddening face, and heart beating so fast she might pass out.

Then she does the only thing she can think of at that moment. She leaves.

But, not without a final glance at Miss Mills. She's sitting against her desk with that damn amused expression on her face again, watching Emma retreat.

_Well, Fuck. so much for being invisible._

-

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Thank you all for taking the time to read this story.  
> So, I'm going to try to update every few days, my aim is probably twice a week (fingers crossed).  
> Hope you enjoy the new chapter! :)

Have you ever lived out a moment in your mind over and over again coming up with alternate endings to them? That’s what Emma had been doing the whole week. Sitting there over-analyzing that interaction with Miss Mills.

Which in hindsight is ridiculous. She interacted with plenty of people during her first week at SB High. Yet, somehow that moment at the end of class on her first day is what is bothering her so much.

She’s even seen Miss Mills multiple times since; in class when she got her grade back for her essay which she’s proud to say was an A. And, she also saw a glimpse of her at lunch. Somehow every interaction has been nothing to note since that first one. Yet she can’t seem to stop over thinking it.

Well, she did have one moment when she was handed her essay back. Miss Mills did linger by her desk a fraction longer than she did the others, a small smile on her face as she walked off.

That extremely short couple of seconds felt to Emma as if it was never-ending.

See, here lies the problem. Every time she sees Miss Mills its like she forgets how to act. Her brain shuts down and she’s just stood there like an idiot. This has NEVER happened before. Maybe it's curiosity?

Miss Mills is extremely attractive. She’d have to be stupid to not notice it. But, to be crushing on her? Emma Swan does not crush.

 

So as it stands, Emma has decided that she definitely does not have a crush on her teacher. _That’d be tragic_. And, plans to spend this weekend with her foster parents, doing her homework and forgetting all about Miss Mills.

That’s why she’s currently walking into Granny’s diner to pick up some lunch for her and David.

He invited her to hang out at the station with him today as he never gets to spend much time with her. Which is nice. She’s never had parents actually want her company, it's all very new.

So when David suggested it, it took her a couple minutes of floundering an answer before she said yes.

This one is definitely a first for her. The ‘bring your kid to work’ thing wasn’t exactly orthodox, at least as far as she has witnessed. But she guesses with David being the Sheriff he can probably do what he wants. And today, he wants to spend time with Emma.

The diner's bell signals Emma’s arrival. She walks up to the counter, picking up the menu for good measure even though she knows exactly what she’s going to order. David and Mary Margaret brought Granny’s takeout home a few days ago, and honestly, it was the best grilled cheese she’s ever had.

“Hey, it’s Emma right?” A tall brunette with red streaks in her hair approaches Emma at the counter. She looks about Emma’s age and Emma swears she’s seen her at school. Looking at the waitress uniform, Emma sees the name tag reading Ruby. _Huh, somehow that’s pretty fitting._

“Uh, yeah. Hi” This is why Emma doesn’t interact with people, awkwardness seems to be her talent.

“You wanting a table?” Ruby gestures over to a free seat by the window.

“Oh, no I was just hoping to order some lunch to go?”

“Oh, ok. cool. So, what can I get you?” Ruby pulls her little paper pad out of her apron ready to write down Emma’s order.

“Um, could I get a grilled cheese, a bacon cheeseburger, two fries, a strawberry shake, and a coke please?” Emma reads it off as though she’s practiced her order a thousand times.

“Sure thing. It will just a few minutes” Ruby takes the offered money from Emma as she rings through her order and heading to what Emma presumes is the kitchen to give her order to the chef.

 

Ruby heads back over to Emma barely two minutes later. Pouring herself a cup of coffee and straightening her ponytail, she leans over the counter where Emma’s sat. Getting probably too close to call casual.

“You know, you’re not a very easy person to approach” There’s no malice to Ruby’s words just a simple fact.

“Oh. Yeah, sorry. I’m not really all that great with people, so I tend to just isolate myself. It’s nothing personal, I promise.” That’s a lot easier than saying _Well yeah I don’t bother making friends because it will be that much more depressing when I have to leave again._

“Hey, it's cool. I get it. However, if you do decide you don’t want to be a loner anymore, I know a pretty great bunch of people that would be up for getting to know you”

Emma just smiles at Ruby. Because, yeah that was really nice of her. But she doesn’t really see the point.

The bell in the kitchen rings, calling Ruby’s attention and thankfully cutting off Emma’s reply.

Whilst Ruby retreats to what Emma assumes is to grab her order, she takes a good look around the diner. She notices a couple of kids she’s seen at school, sitting in the back booth.

However, it’s the booth by the window that grabs her attention. _Of fucking course, she’s here._

There sitting as regal as one can sit in a diner booth, is Miss Mills. The one person Emma has been trying to forget exists this weekend.

Now should be the moment Emma looks away again, yet laughably, there she sits in a complete trance watching the way Miss Mills lifts her coffee cup to her mouth, her eyelids half shut as though she’s seriously enjoying what’s in her cup. There’s a red lipstick mark left on the rim of the mug, which Emma is only slightly too entranced by.

Emma’s apparently been staring at her mouth a bit too long, however,  _Huh did she always have that scar?_ Because Miss Mills looks up and locks eyes with Emma. _God, how does she always know when I’m staring at her?_

Emma quickly ducks her head. She can feel her face quickly reddening. Thankfully this is the moment Ruby returns with her food.

“Hey, all ready to go. I also kinda wrote my number on the receipt. Y’know just in case you ever do want a friend” She says it in such an easy way. As though it’s that simple. And, well, maybe it is.

“Thank you, uh, see you at school” Emma practically runs out of the door, she’s fairly certain she heard a ‘see you later’ from Ruby, and she is undeniably certain she saw that signature smirk on her teacher's face as she practically ran past her. _Great another embarrassing moment to add to the list._

 

* * *

 

Monday has come around way too fast for Emma’s liking. Usually, she hated weekends, it meant she was stuck without an excuse to be out of the house for eight hours a day. School was her solitude. However, this weekend had been fun. She spent the day with David on Saturday, he told her embarrassing stories from his high school days and they laughed. It was nice. And on Sunday, Mary Margaret managed to rope her into helping for the bake sale she was running. These are things Emma never got to do before. Bake cookies and joke about embarrassing memories. All of it was honestly pretty great.

So, yeah she wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of school today. Not to mention she has English last period with Miss Mills and she definitely is not ready for that.

 

Emma takes more time than she ever usually used to getting ready for school, which she is positive isn’t about her wanting to make an impression. She just doesn’t want to look like a slob, that’s all.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she wearing blue ripped skinny jeans that make her legs look amazing. A white vans t-shirt paired with a plaid unbuttoned shirt. Her hair for once, she loosely braids and pulls it over her shoulder, a few loose curls shaping her face. And, yeah, she looks pretty good.

 

That thought, however, does nothing to quell the nerves she’s been feeling all day so far. She was feeling pretty confident this morning when she left the house, she saw quite a few guys at school checking her out. Yet, now as she’s about to walk into her final class of the day, she feels a mess.

 

Reminding herself to breathe, Emma walks with her head down as she swiftly makes it to her seat. Miss Mills is already in the room, don’t ask her how she knows that without even looking up, but she does.

She sits down in her usual seat and pulls out her notepad and pencil case. Exhaling and finally casting her eyes to the front of the room, she notices Miss Mills is watching her. Panic immediately sets in. _How long has she been looking at me?_

Despite Emma’s deer in headlights look, Miss Mills remains calm and never lets her eyes stray. Its like she’s reading her like a book.

Finally, relenting on her observations Miss Mills addresses the rest of the class.

“Ok, let's get started. I told you this week we were going to start looking at the Gothic era. I know most of you might have touched base with this already. However, I want you to delve a little deeper into it. I would like you to research one piece of literature from the Gothic period that speaks to you. That can be from a novel or poetry or for the lazy… film.  I want you to analyze the piece you choose and then I would like you to mimic its style into something of your own creation”.

Miss Mills starts walking around the room as students start writing down notes for the assignment. Already brimming with ideas.

“For those of you that choose a novel, I don’t expect you to write one back to me. An excerpt of some kind will do nicely. Those that chose a film, do not even try to send me a video clip. It will be an instant fail”.

A couple of the boys in the back of the class seem to grumble at that.

Emma however, knew instantly what she was going to do. You can’t do the gothic era and not include Poe.

Emma loved a lot of Edgar Allen Poe’s work. Especially his poetry. Her favorite, however, was ‘A dream within a dream’ and that’s what she would choose to analyze.

 

Emma spent the remainder of the class writing down notes and planning what she would write for her piece of work that mirrors his style. Obviously, it would have to be a poem, she just wasn’t sure what she would write yet.

Deciding she has enough notes to work with, for now, Emma’s betraying eyes look in the direction of her teacher. Miss Mills is sat at her desk typing away on her laptop. She’s wearing a red dress today, which even if Emma wasn’t acutely aware of every detail about Miss Mills, she definitely would notice this. It’s form-fitting and stops just above her knees. It’s nice, probably a bit too nice for school but then again Miss Mills always looks a bit too nice for this place.

She seems to be concentrating a bit too hard on whatever she’s reading, as she has this frown pinched on her forehead. _How can someone frowning look so good?_

As always Miss Mills seems to notice she’s being watched. She looks up in an expectant manner. Normally her face is passive like she’s just studying. This time however she raises her eyebrow, as though she’s confronting Emma. Finally calling her out on her staring. Yet it's not cruel, its almost amused. A question hanging in the air, daring Emma to say something.

Emma’s whole body burns, she feels like squirming in her chair. As though she’s going to get up and run out of the room at any moment.

But she doesn’t, she’s rooted.

 

The bell calls an end to her misery, finally allowing her to breathe as Miss Mills looks away to her class, allowing them to leave.

This time Emma doesn’t wait around to be the last one in the room. She shoves her notebook in her bag with all the pent-up frustration she has and heads for the door. She doesn’t know if Miss Mills is watching her but she suspects she is.

Finally, out of that room and into the safety of the car park, Emma slumps against the cool brick trying to calm herself down.

And, yeah ok. Maybe she might have to consider admitting, she’s maybe, possibly crushing a little bit.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> I'm very sorry for the late update, I've been unwell the last couple weeks. So my creativity took a hit!  
> But to make it up to you all this chapter is longer than the previous one.  
> As always I hope you enjoy, and please tell me your thoughts :)

The weeks seem to be flying by.

Emma has got herself into a pretty decent routine now. She’s doing really good in school; her grades are great. She contributes in class if she has to, she’s never late and never causes trouble. And yet, the school called David and MM today to tell them that they’re worried about Emma fitting in. Which is ridiculous, she’s fine. And she told them as much.

Yet, MM has been popping her head into Emma’s room more than usual today to “check up on her”. It's starting to wear thin.

So when the sixth visit to her bedroom arrives, Emma snaps.

“Mary Margaret is there something I can help you with, because I’m trying to write this paper, and you shuffling around my room is slightly distracting”

Mary Margaret looked shocked for a second, a little surprised Emma would confront her about it. She tends to always be so quiet usually.

“David and I just want to check you’re ok”

“Right, and I’ve told you like a dozen times now, that I am”

David seeming to hear the mini dispute also walks into her bedroom. _Ugh, what, was he hiding behind the wall?_

“Look kiddo, were not trying to upset you. We just want you to talk to us” David is always the peace-maker, Emma imagines that comes in handy as a Sherriff.

“Are the kids not nice?” MM always worried about the worst possible outcomes.

“They’re fine” Emma can feel the tension building, she knows she won't be able to take much more of this conversation.

“Then why haven’t you made any friends?” She knows MM is just trying to be caring, but this conversation is going down a road Emma isn’t ready for. She’s so sick of staying quiet, of biting her tongue. She’s a good kid, she behaves, she’s kind and smart. How dare the school bring all this up.

“BECAUSE! What’s the point?” Emma can feel tears coming to the surface, she tries to angrily wipe them away.

“What’s the point in making friends, and getting close to people. In getting attached. When… when…” The tears no longer able to be restrained are freely flowing down her face. As are Mary Margaret’s, seeing the pain in Emma’s eyes.

“When you end up having to lose them anyway?” David finishes for her. Seeming to understand her all too well.

The same realization dawns on MM and she flies off of the bed to wrap Emma in a hug. She holds her until she calms down. Rubbing soothing circles on her back, and holding her tight against her.

MM pulls back slightly to look Emma in the eye, she holds her face gently in her hands, to get Emma to pay attention to what she’s about to say.

“We Love you. We love you so much, Emma. You’re not a conciliation prize for us, you’re not a temporary fix for our family. You are everything to us. We aren’t a family without you. And this will be your home for as long as you want it to be. You aren’t going anywhere unless that is what you choose”.

“And we really hope that isn’t what you choose because we’ve been waiting a really long time for you kiddo, and we don’t ever want to lose that time with you”David's eyes seem to be glistening as he reaches out to pull Emma into a hug. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Mary Margaret lifts Emma head to her. “Ok?”

Emma is pretty sure she’s never felt so wanted her whole life, in this moment, being squished between her foster parents as they refuse to let her out of their embrace until she understands just how loved she is. And she finally does. “Ok”.

 

………..

 

The rest of the day isn’t quite so heavy as the heart to heart earlier on, but they don’t ever let Emma stray far away from them. Deciding to have a family movie day and play board games, whilst they drink hot cocoa. Its exactly what she needed, and she thinks it might have been what MM and David needed too.

 

“Hey, um. I was thinking, would it maybe be ok to decorate my room? Maybe just change the paint color? Not that the bird wallpaper isn’t nice, but its just um, not me”

Emma had to remind herself not to be shy or feel nervous about asking. These people want her. They want her to be comfortable.

“Really?” Mary Margaret’s whole face seemed to light up at this. The woman loves a good reason to decorate.

Seeing Emma’s excited nod, and a carefree look on her face, David joins in on the excitement.

“I can take you to the hardware store tomorrow, we could pick out paint colors and maybe anything else you want. Do you want shelves? Maybe a seat by the window?”

Emma could tell he was already planning all the things he could do to the room, an excited glint in eye making it evident.

She just sat back and smiled at all of the ideas he was throwing out, because honestly, they all sounded great. And also it was so nice having these people in her life that are just as excited as she is about making a home for her. This is something Emma has never had before, and it’s possibly the greatest feeling.

 

* * *

 

When Emma wakes up on Sunday morning, she can barely contain her excitement. She knows it's probably stupid to be this excited at something as mediocre as decorating your bedroom. But she’s never had the chance to do it before.

She throws on a pair of black skinny jeans and her favorite blue sweater. It’s a little worn on the sleeves but its ridiculously comfy and it was one of the first items of clothing she ever bought for herself out of her own money. So it holds sentimental value.

She brushes her hair whilst walking down the stairs as she can already hear David and MM up and wants to get started on the day.

“Good morning sweetheart. How did you sleep?” MM is such a morning person. Emma doesn’t think she’s ever seen MM even slightly groggy in the morning before.

“Good thanks. How bout you guys?” She throws herself down onto one of the stools whilst she finishes brushing out her hair.

“We slept great thanks Kiddo. You ready for today?” David is already dressed and ready to go, he’s wearing his old college hoodie and a pair of worn down jeans. Its his DIY look.

Emma just smiles fondly and nods.

 

………..

 

So far the day is off to a great start, they bought 2 tins of paint from the shop. Which was probably overkill. And a load of material for building a window seat. David bought all the wood (to spec) and Mary Margaret is currently on the hunt for cushions, to make it cute and comfortable. _Her words, exactly._

And Emma, well, she’s just happily pointing at all the things she likes.

 

….......

 

After a long and very messy day, Emma can finally sit back in her newly decorated room and admire it. They worked hard on it today, playing music obnoxiously loud while they had fun.

And it shows. Her room is painted white on 3 walls and the wall behind her bed (the feature wall) is painted a light yellow. Emma’s favourite colour.

 

The white furniture blends nicely with the color scheme, David even painted her window seat white. Mary Margaret matched it up nicely with pale blue cushions, and a few with prints on them. Together it looked really nice. It looked like she actually lived in this room. A little bit of Emma’s personality finally shining through.

 

The days activity seemed to wipe them all out, as David and MM had already gone to bed. Emma however lays on her bed holding the slip of paper in her hand that Ruby had given her with her number on it. Deciding to finally try this whole settling in thing, Emma sends Ruby a quick text.

 

**Hey, Its Emma. So I was wondering if that offer still stands? It turns out It might be quite nice to have some friends in this town after all.**

Emma looks around her room, taking it all in whilst she waits nervously for a reply. Ruby might have just been trying to be nice before in the diner. _Maybe she wasn’t being serious._

The text message alert tone brings Emma out of her anxiety.

**Hi! Fucking finally, was starting to think you’d be a loner for life ;) Meet tomorrow morning before class?  R X**

 

A smile forms on Emma’s face as she reads the reply. She thinks she’s going to like Ruby.

 

**Deal. See you tomorrow.**

Things feel like they’re finally falling into place for Emma. It only took her seventeen years of her life to get here but hey, she will take what she can.

 

* * *

 

 

Monday morning rolls in. And with it, some new possibilities. Emma took extra time getting ready for school today, a bit nervous about meeting new friends. Ruby said they’re all nice, but that doesn’t mean its not daunting.

She’s wearing black skinny jeans ripped at the knees. A black t-shirt with the slogan ’Mmm… **π** ” She had found the t-shirt in a shop in Boston and found the mathematical joke hilarious. Not that her foster sister at the time had agreed.

She finishes off her look with a long cream knitted cardigan and her black Dr. Martens. Emma took the extra time to curl her hair today, so it falls softly over her shoulder. And her make up is light but complements her complexion well. All in all, she looks good.

 

Ruby is waiting outside the main school doors for her when she arrives. She has a small group of people with her, which Emma assumes are her friends.

 

“Hey” Emma tries to not show her nerves, lifting her hand in an awkward mini wave.

“Hey, here she is” As it turns out Ruby is always this excitable and forward. She flings her arm over Emma’s shoulder, dragging her over to meet everyone, as though they’ve been friends for years.

“Guys this is Emma. Emma this is Killian, Neal, and Belle” Emma greets each of them with a small smile.

“Hi Emma, it’s nice to finally meet you. Well, I’m in your science class, but you don’t talk much” Belle is the first to dive into introductions.

“Well who could bloody blame her, Gold is hardly an enticing conversationalist” Somehow she wasn’t quite expecting the strong British accent to come out of Killian’s mouth, but it does strangely suit him.

“Like you can talk” Neal as Emma realizes must be the joker of the group, and on going playful banter between himself and Killian. Ruby is the loud, forward, confident one, also probably the glue of the group. Belle is the sweet, smart one (well, from what she remembers about her in class). And then Killian is the smooth talker, probably quite the charmer. And Neal is the class clown, the funny yet loyal kind.

She doesn’t know what role she will play in this group but it’s pretty nice knowing she now has a group.

“Mr. Gold is nothing in comparison to the Evil Queen” Belle seems to deflect on Mr. Gold's behalf.

Emma has never heard of the Evil Queen before, well not outside of the classic Snow White storytelling. But the whole group seem to shudder and grimace at whoever she seems to be here, which is probably a bad sign.

“Wait, who’s the Evil Queen”?

“Miss Mills” Its Ruby who fills her in.

_Wait. What. They can’t be talking about the same Miss Mills right. Right?! Like sure what she wears sometimes is evil but that's about it._

 

“Wait, Miss Mills as in Miss Mills from English lit. Room 108?”

They all look at her like she’s a bit slow. “Yeah. She’s the only Miss Mills here”.

“Oh, right. Wait. Why is she called the Evil Queen?”

“Because she’s a right hard arse. She’s famous for her harsh marking. And don’t even try to act out in her class. That shite will stay on your record for the rest of your life” Killian mimics the slitting throat gesture.

 

None of this makes any sense to Emma. She’s sure they must be thinking about a different person. But then again Ruby is in her English Lit class with her. And she is oddly very quiet during that hour.

 

The bell signals the end of their conversation as they all agree to meet at lunch and head off to their perspective classes.

 

….......

 

The day completely dragged today, all Emma could think about was what her friends had said about Miss Mills and she was anxious for English class.

Now that that time had come, Emma almost didn’t want to go. She and Ruby walked there together side by side, while Ruby animatedly talked about how Peter had face planted in PE.

However, the second they spotted Miss Mills already seated at her desk, Ruby went dead quiet.

So did Emma, but for a completely different reason.

Today Miss Mills was wearing a tight black pencil skirt with a deep red blouse tucked into it. She had on her signature pair of black heels, but her hair was different this time. It was curled, the kind of curls that you can tell are natural.

_Holy fuck, how can one person be this unreal._

Emma hadn’t realized that she had stopped walking, but the nudge to the side from Ruby’s elbow soon helped her come around.

Ruby was looking at her like she was insane, whereas Miss Mills seemed to be quite enjoying the entire interaction. Well if her barely contained smile was anything to go by.

 

Emma was about to sit at her usual seat but Ruby was quite insistent on her sitting near her. So that’s how she found herself now even closer to Miss Mills desk. In fact, she was one row in front of her and completely clear ahead in her eye line. _Great, well I didn’t need to be able to breathe for an hour anyway._

 

“Good afternoon. First thing’s first, I have your grades back for your gothic era piece today. So I will be passing them out later. As for todays plan, I’m sure you will all be delighted to know we will be watching a film”

 

Excited murmurs started accelerating around the room.

 

“Quiet or I will change my mind. Good. So, as I was saying… we are going to be moving on to film adaptations of classics. Today we will be watching Pride and Prejudice, to those that have seen it before this will be a great chance for you to refresh your memories. Those that haven’t, you are seriously lacking in culture and those that have read the book, I’m impressed.”

 

Miss Mills turned to face the TV screen to the room, pressing play on the film and turning out the main lights.

It didn’t take long for a few students to lose their focus and stop paying attention to the film. One of her classmates had already dozed off. She can’t imagine that will go well for him. There were, however, some students paying an intense amount of attention to the film, even writing notes to accompany it. Probably too scared of what will happen if they don’t.

Emma’s focus however, was where it always was in this class. On her teacher. Miss Mills had clearly seen the film before as she wasn’t watching it now, instead it seemed she was taking this opportunity to catch up on some marking.

Her face was scrunched up in concentration. _She looks cute when she’s focusing._

The red pen that had been furiously scribbling notes onto students work now stopped and the lid is pressed to her lips. Its only because Emma was focusing so intently on those lips that she noticed Miss Mills was smiling. Emma’s eyes shoot up to catch Miss Mills’s watching her in amusement. She doesn’t seem very annoyed that Emma isn’t paying intention to the film. Instead, she just raises her eyebrow in question, leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. Which inadvertently pushes her breasts up into view.

_Jesus fucking Christ._

Emma’s eyes naturally follow the display (which, how could they not?)

Quickly snapping them right back up as she realized what she had just done. Miss Mills however didn’t seem offended or even surprised really, but it did seem like she was trying to reframe from laughing.

_Oh my god. Is she fucking with me?_

 

Before Emma could even contemplate what that means, Miss Mills points her pen over to the direction of the film. Not so subtly telling her to pay attention.

Emma shoots her an annoyed look but all she gets in return is a smirk, before Miss Mills returns to marking.

_Ugh. This class will be the death of me._

 

Somehow Kiera Knightly manages to keep Emma’s attention for the most part of the remaining hour. Well, not entirely.

With 3 minutes remaining before the bell is due to ring, Miss Mills turns off the TV telling everyone they will watch the remainder next lesson.

Slowly she picks up a pile of papers on her desk and starts handing them out around the room. She gives out every single person other than Emma’s grades back before lastly placing down Emma’s paper on her desk.

She’s not even that excited about the A- she received because now she is actively aware that Miss Mills is trying to get a reaction out of her. It’s no coincidence she saved Emma for last.

Emma glares at her suspiciously one more time, which just earns a tiny snort of laughter from Miss Mills. Yes, the most sophisticated woman in the world just snorted. No one else seems to notice though.

 

Ruby stands next to Emma’s desk waiting for her to pack up and leave as she had agreed to drive her home today. Emma flings her back pack over her shoulder and signals from Ruby to lead the way.

Miss Mills is still smiling at her as she exits the room, Emma just rolls her eyes playfully in return.

 

_This woman is impossible._

 

If she keeps up these games, Emma is positive she won’t make it to graduation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Just a heads up for this chapter, their a few time jumps. It's necessary to move along in the storyline.   
> Mainly getting ready for the next chapter which I will tease is my favorite scene I've written between Emma and Regina so far :)
> 
> Enjoy!

The weeks had been flying by.

Most of it blurring into the same scene; Emma goes to school, spends time with her friends, she joined the volleyball team with Ruby which she's pretty surprised to say she really enjoys and spends her free time with David and Mary Margaret.

And then there are the highlights/ personal hell (depending on the day) moments with Miss Mills, who spends most her time torturing Emma.

Lately, every interaction has been a trying experience. She’s sure the skirts have gotten an inch shorter. And don’t get her started on them blouses, they seem to be getting tighter every week.

And see if Emma wasn’t an overly aware person she would put this down to her imagination. But no, Emma has spent so much of her time observing Miss Mills so she knows practically every outfit she’s ever worn to school. And yeah they’re definitely getting more trying.

Also, Miss Mills tends to have this evil glint in her eyes lately, like she’s enjoying every situation far too much. Which is saying something because there have been a lot of interactions lately, it's almost like Miss Mills is going out of her way to cross Emma’s path.

She sees her in the cafeteria at lunch now, which she never used to eat in the cafeteria. She’s run into her multiple times in the hallways and yes occasionally, literally ran into her.

But English class is the most trying out of all the experiences. She always calls on Emma for the answer or engages Emma into a staring contest only to look away after a couple minutes and say “Pay attention Miss Swan” as though she wasn’t the one purposely causing Emma’s distraction. And if Emma was a stronger person she would keep her attention to herself and not give Miss Mills the satisfaction of messing with her. Unfortunately for her, she’s weak.

So, yeah. It's been tough.

 

The only thing getting through the school day lately is her friends. It's nice having a group of people to hang out with. They spend all their time together at school and then hang out together after school too, usually at the diner where Ruby works.

Emma loves them all in their own way. Ruby is her favorite, she would say they're becoming fast best friends. They're hardly ever not together.

Belle is great, she's smart and sweet. Though she does seem quite cautious around Emma, which Emma is pretty sure is because Belle has a slight crush on Ruby and seems worried about her connection to Emma. Which, isn't necessary. She loves Ruby but she's not into her. Her attention is purely on her English teacher.

Killian has been probably the most fun to hang out with aside from Ruby. They're very similar and everything around him is easy. They're into the same music and movies and most the time just spend hours in silence listening to their favorite albums together. There's never any expectation to do anything, and she likes that.

Neal is the biggest issue. He's nice and fine when they're with the rest of their friends, but when they're alone he always acts strangely. Emma's had the dreading feeling for the past couple weeks that Neal might be into her. All the signs are there. So, she's been trying to subtly hint him away from that idea, but, he's not exactly the smartest guy around.

She would love to be able to tell her friends that she's exclusively into girls and then that would put the whole Neal thing to rest. But, shes worried they might not be comfortable with her sexuality. Which, she knows probably won't be the case as Ruby is a huge flirt so she doubts she will be concerned, and well Belle isn't exactly straight if she's crushing on Ruby. Killian doesn't care about very much about anything so he probably won't even react or make some dumb joke about how now they're competing for girls.

It's just Neal that it might upset and she doesn't want to disturb the balance of the group.

So, for now, she's playing it safe.

 

* * *

 

 

Getting home from Volleyball practice that evening, Emma wasn’t expecting her foster parents to practically ambush her as she walks through the door. Mary Margaret rushes to make her a snack while David takes her gym bag from her shoulder so she can sit down. _Weird_.

She’s almost scared to ask what’s going on. Wondering if this is the moment when they tell her they’re having a baby and can’t afford to keep both of them. It wouldn’t be the first time. But, this would definitely be the most painful out the two.

Sitting on the sofa opposite them she finally cracks “Ok, what’s up?”

“So we have been thinking about it for a little while now, but we want your input first as if you don’t want to, then we won't”.

Emma stares at them in a way telling them to continue.

“We want to move”

 _Oh god_. The sinking feeling of panic creeps in. _Where will we go, what about my friends, what about school._

“Where” Is all Emma manages to croak out.

“Not far. Actually, it's about a five-minute drive from here. Mifflin street.”

She almost wants to laugh. She thought they meant move towns not 5 minutes down the road to another part of this town.

“Wait you want to move down the street”?

“Well yes. We always imagined when we had our family complete, we would move into a nice family home with a garden” Mary Margaret always the romantic.

“We’ve had our eye on this house for years now, waiting for it to come on the market. Which was a matter of time really as old Bale had to pass away eventually”

“Whoa, wait! We’re buying a dead guys house?” Emma looked horrified.

David and Mary Margaret, however, found her reaction hilarious, if their laughter was anything to go by.

“No, he didn’t die. But he has put the house up for sale so he can move into his son’s spare bedroom. He needs more supervision since his fall”

Emma just knows Mary Margaret would have been like a hound knocking on his door the second she saw the for sale sign. Showing him care and interest in him moving.

When she wants something, she doesn’t waste any time.

“Oh, well ok. I mean, we just decorated my bedroom here, are you sure you guys want to move. I don’t want you to do it for me. I’m happy wherever”

“It’s for all of us. And think about it like this. Now we get to decorate an entire house together. Our house”

All Emma could do was nod her head as she was sure Mary Margaret was about 5 seconds away from crying over their family home. She could admit though, it does have a nice ring to it.

Her first real family home.

 

 .....................

 

Things seemed to move at rapid speed after that. Turns out being the town Sherriff really helps speed things along.

Three weeks is all it took to have everything signed and sorted.

Emma is kind of sad to leave the loft, as it had started to feel like home and she honestly can’t say when the last time that had happened was. If ever.

But this could be exciting, a new chapter.

 

This weekend they decided it would be a good time to move, they spent all of yesterday painting and decorating now its time to actually move their stuff into the house. It's nice, a good size, not too large unlike some of the other houses on the street. This one had a homely feel to it.

It took them four hours to load the moving van, she has no idea why they didn’t just hire someone to do this. But Mary Margret wanted them all to experience every moment of moving into their first home. Which might sound cute, but they have been lifting heaving furniture down two flights of steps into the van and honestly Emma is sure she might pass out soon.

But Mary Margaret’s looks of pure excitement as they finally pull up into the driveway, ready to unload their belongings, makes it kind of worth it.

“Are you guys ready?”

Emma and David share an exhausted smile before climbing out of the van and start unloading everything they own.

 

It's now 6pm, there are boxes everywhere and they’re not even close to being moved in. But the sofa is in, the TV is set up and their beds have all been built. So at least they can sleep tonight.

They all decided to take an hour break to have some food and recharge before finishing unpacking. Which is why Emma is currently laying on the living room floor in her panda pyjama shorts and her blue sweater. When there is a knock at the door they all seem taken by surprise.

None of them moving from their spot, just looking at each other in question.

Emma decides to take the bullet for them all and check who it is. Though the moment she does, she’s never regretted anything more in her life.

She pulls the door open and almost slams it shut in surprise. Miss Mills stands there in black skinny jeans and a nice shirt. Ordinarily, Emma might find the time to be pleasantly surprised by the fact that her teacher is in jeans for once however she currently can’t seem to function.

She realizes she must look like an idiot, standing their mouth agape not moving or saying anything.

“Hello Emma”

_Um. Fuck do something. WHY ARENT YOU DOING ANYTHING?!_

“I…”

“Who’s at the door sweetie” Emma has never wanted someone to come save her as badly as she wants Mary Margaret to come save her right now.

“DOOR” Is all Emma manages to shout out back to her foster mother, realizing that it doesn’t answer her question at all. And sounds stupid.

Miss Mills seems to be thoroughly entertained though, she actually bursts out laughing at Emma.

“Very astute as always”

Of course, Miss Mills would take any opportunity to mess with her.

Mary Margaret finally emerges from the living room to come to Emma’s rescue.

“Oh, hello. We weren’t expecting guests so soon”

“Yes, well I thought I would come introduce myself” Miss Mills reaches her arm out to shake Mary Margaret’s hand.

“Regina. I’m your neighbor, I live next door”

_Regina. Huh. Pretty._

“Oh hi, so nice to meet you. I’m Mary Margaret, this here is my daughter Emma. Who you’ve already met. And my husband David is just in the other room”

“Well, I don’t mean to disturb you I just thought I would say hello. And bring you over these. I baked them”

Miss Mills hands over a tray of pastries that Emma hadn’t even seen in her hands before now.

“That’s so kind. Thank you. I would invite you in but I admit it’s a bit of a mess right now”

“That’s not a problem, I actually can't stay long anyway. It was very nice to meet you” Her gaze, however, is only on Emma when she says this.

When Mary Margaret hears a crash come from the other room, she excuses herself to check on David leaving Emma alone again with Miss Mills.

She just has to say thank you and bye, yet somehow what comes out of her mouth is very different than planned.

“Regina means queen” is what Emma blurts out instead. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Miss Mills is so startled by Emma actually finally talking, it takes her a minute to catch up. Nodding slowly with a smile stretching across her face.

“You’re a very interesting person Emma Swan”

She says in a way like Emma is some amazing puzzle that she loves solving. Each new piece revealing a larger more beautiful image.

Emma has no idea how to respond to that. And after her last comment, she decides its probably best she doesn’t respond at all.

“Cute PJ’s by the way” Miss Mills winks at her.

She calls out her goodnight over her shoulder as she walks back to her house.

When Emma is left standing alone at the door she finally manages to whisper a goodnight in return.

Though, it's pretty pointless now.

 

Well, two things are for certain.

1) She's not going to be getting that wink out of her mind any time soon that's for sure.

2) She's not going to survive living next door to the constant occupant of her thoughts.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I kind of turned this Teacher/ Student trope into the girl next door trope.
> 
> Don't sue me for the trope on trope. 
> 
> Just enjoy the craziness :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is probably the longest chapter I've written. It's also my favorite.  
> Get ready for some real dialog between Emma and Regina :)  
> If I made any mistakes, well I wrote this super late so please don't hold it against me.  
> As always, let me know what you thought <3

 

It felt as though the past few months had been non-stop. And really in perspective, it had been.

Emma joined a new family, started a new school, met new friends and moved into another new home.

Now Christmas was fast approaching and she had no idea how she felt about it. It will be the first Christmas she’s spent with a family that truly want her and that thought is both extremely exciting and terrifying.

Mary Margaret had been in full psycho mode for the past week planning a Christmas party at the house. She never managed to hold a moving in party so now she’s pouring all of her efforts into planning the perfect Christmas get together.

Now Mary Margaret is the sweetest woman you could ever meet but man is she insufferable when she’s frantically planning something. The woman is relentless.

Emma has never been so grateful that they moved house as this place is actually big enough that she can hide out of the way if she wants to.

Which, coincidentally is what she’s currently doing.

Not only is Emma’s room beautiful with her own ensuite and a walk-in wardrobe. But they hold nothing on her favorite feature… Stepping out of her bedroom window leads onto a little-designed balcony built into the roof. Its nothing fancy but its cute and hidden away from eyes. Its Emma’s sanctuary.

She had decorated it with a blue beanbag, a soft rug so her feet don’t get cold and fairy lights wound around the wooden railing. She sits out there when she wants to just be in her own head for a bit, either writing or drawing.

She’s managed to hide from MM all day out here so far, but she knows she won't be able to hide forever so, she needs a plan. Realizing its only 9 days away from Christmas and she is yet to start her Christmas shopping, Emma decides that’s probably the best plan for today.

 

Running downstairs, she barely makes it out the door before MM is rounding on her shouting about centerpieces.

“Emma, there you are. Quick I need your opinion. Gold or red?”

“Erm, honestly they both look great, but maybe the Gold looks slightly less um, tacky.”

MM looks down at the ornaments a frown forming on her face. Emma takes this moment of distraction to try to sneak out the door.

“I want you back by 8pm latest please, we have dinner plans”

“Sure thing” Emma half-heartedly shouts behind her as she’s walking out the door.

“And I got you a dress for the party I want you to try it on tonight” MM shouts after her.

_Yeesh, that woman needs a break._

Emma has been dreading the party. MM had invited the entire street; she has no idea how they’re all planning on fitting in the house.

Emma would love her own friends to be there but ruby is non stop working at the diner through Christmas break to earn as much as she can. She claims she’s saving up to go away in summer after graduation.

Killian is visiting his brother in New York for the holidays, as they’re the only family each other has.

And Neal, well he probably could attend. Hell, he even might be attending, she knows MM invited his dad. But she kind of hopes he doesn’t come. She’s really going to have to have a serious conversation with him soon, but she’s delaying as long as she can.

Lastly, there’s Belle. But, things aren’t really very easy with Belle. She’s still quite odd with Emma, so she doubts being at a party together with none of their other friends there as buffers is a great idea.

Which means, she’s going to be alone and bored out of her mind at this party. Honestly, she’s only planning on playing host for as long as she has to. The first available moment to excuse herself, she’s taking it.

 

* * *

 

By the time Emma is walking home, she realizes how hungry she is. She spent the past three hours shopping for Christmas presents. The trip had been successful, she managed to get a gift for MM and David, she bought a gift for each of her friends. She even considered buying Miss Mills a gift, only because she saw a really nice red scarf that she thought would really suit her. But she realized that would be really weird, so she talked herself out of the idea. Instead, she settled on just buying her a Christmas card. Cards are safe, they don’t scream ‘I might be obsessed with you’.

Emma dumps all of her bags in her bedroom so MM and David won’t see what she bought for them, before joining her foster parents in the kitchen.

“Hey Kiddo, have a good day?”

“Uh huh. I did all my Christmas shopping. I’m all spent out”

David just laughs at her being dramatically tired after only a couple hours of shopping.

“You think that’s bad. You should go Christmas shopping with Mary Margaret”.

MM hits him on the arm with the stirring spoon playfully earning herself a snort from Emma.

“Yeah, I think I’m good thanks. So, what’s for dinner?”

“I’m making spaghetti carbonara. With side salad” The last part was said pointedly at David. MM has been nagging him for weeks that he needs to change his diet and stop eating like he’s in his twenties.

“Cool I’m gonna have a quick shower then before dinner”

“I put the dress for the party on your bed, will you please try it on in case I need to make any alterations?”

Emma mumbles an ok over her shoulder as she runs upstairs.

She’d have to say she’d be lying if she said she was expecting to like the dress. She was expecting MM to pick out some horrid thing with thrills and flowers, closer to how she dresses herself. But, actually, the dress was really nice. It was simple. Deep blue. The dress fitted against her body snug, it didn’t feel tight but it definitely showed off her physique. Emma stood in the mirror for a solid five minutes admiring the dress. It ended just above her knees and had thin spaghetti straps falling softly on her shoulders. She looked good, really good actually.

Maybe the party won't be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Well, here it is. Day of the big party.

Emma had been texting Ruby non-stop complaining about all the housework she’s had to do in preparation today. She thought MM was bad yesterday, but today is a whole new Mary Margaret.

The whole house had been completely transformed, even the garden had somehow been made to look elegant with beautiful string lights hung up. The water feature in the back corner had little light display set up on a timer, making it seem quite beautiful and somehow effortless.

If Emma hadn’t spent the whole day working her ass off, she’d say it was effortless. But, no trust her. It took a lot of effort.

They had about an hour before guests would start arriving, so MM shoed her upstairs to shower and get ready.

Emma spent a lot of time on her appearance tonight. She would argue it’s just because she knows she going to be on display tonight meeting all of their neighbors and MM and David’s friends. But really, she’s aware of exactly why she’s spending so much effort on her appearance. A very persistent neighbor comes to the forefront of her mind.

Emma thought seeing Miss Mills at school was hard enough, but living next door to her is an entirely new challenge.

She sees her almost every morning as she’s leaving for school. Miss Mills always sends her a little wave and any normal person would be able to react in a normal manner. Wave back and maybe even add a small polite smile. But no, not Emma.

Emma just stands there with her mouth agape for a few seconds until she snaps herself out of it and quickly turns around and flees, leaving a very amused smile on her teachers face.

Emma is so tired of embarrassing herself in front of her. So, tonight she is determined to act normally around her, even if it kills her.

 

Emma has gone for a shiny metallic blue eyeshadow that she knows will complement her dress nicely. She’s perfected her winged eyeliner and her mascara makes her eyelashes look even longer. Her foundation is light and she applies a light blusher. She decides against lipstick, instead just applying her lip balm so her lips don’t look dull.

Her hair is curled in soft waves, the side of her hair is pinned to her head whilst the rest falls freely around her face. To finish off the look, Emma pulls her dress on, matching it with some nice black low heeled shoes she had picked out and a simple silver bracelet on her wrist.

 

“Wow. You look so beautiful” Mary Margaret stands in the doorway staring at her in awe. Tears start welling up in her eyes.

“Thanks. You don’t think it’s too much?”

“Not at all. You look perfect” She reaches out to touch Emma’s hand in a motherly hold.

David yells upstairs that their guests are starting to arrive, drawing them out of their moment.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma has never seen half of these people before. Some she has seen in general passing or at Granny’s when she’s hanging out with Ruby. But she can’t say she would ever start up a conversation with any of them under normal circumstances.

However, tonight she’s had to speak to so many people, answering the same generic questions over and over again.

 

**How do you like Storybrooke so far?**

**How have you been settling into school?**

**What’s your favorite subject?**

**Do you like living here?**

 

Emma is about one question away from ripping her own hair out.

As it turned out Neal did show up after all. He’s been following Emma around all evening, and she’s growing tired of it. He’s currently dragged her into a conversation with possibly some of the most condescending men she’s ever met. Some PR consultant who works for Neal’s dad named Robin and his assistant Peter a twenty-something-year-old guy who dresses more like he’s in his late forties, and practically bending over backward to laugh at every joke Robin makes. It’s all very cringe.

They’ve been talking about movies for the past five minutes now, Robin saying how films aren’t what they used to be, and that he’d rather watch a classic Hitchcock masterpiece any day. Emma would much rather ignore him under most circumstances but he’s just so irritating and condescending.

Robin notices Emma roll her eyes at his idolization of Hitchcock.

“Let me guess, you’re more of a fan of the notebook?”

“No, I’m just not a fan misogynistic old white men with mommy issues”

Robin looked completely stunned, trying his best to sputter out a response.

“You idolize a man that was fundamentally disturbed, who showed complete disregard to those who worked for him. He dehumanized his actors referring to them as cattle. And sexually assaulted multiple women. But hey, he made some good films right?” Emma’s irritation couldn’t be contained anymore she was ready to blow up at every stupid person around her.

Robin looked completely embarrassed and Neal stunned. Emma took that moment to escape and made her way out of the room. Deciding she had enough of the party and the people in it, she snuck off to her room.

Only when she was in the quiet isolation of her bedroom did she release her breath. She seriously hopes her blowing up at the guest doesn’t anger Mary Margaret and David.

Sliding out of her shoes and putting on her slippers Emma makes her way onto her balcony. She wraps a knitted white cardigan around her should and picks up her guitar. She sits up there for what she’s sure is close to an hour, playing aimlessly at the strings. She’s thankful of the positioning of the balcony, it means no one would be able to see her from the garden and with the music blasting out downstairs, she doubts they will be able to hear her either.

 

It's when the music streams through her door louder that she turns around to notice Miss Mills standing in her bedroom.

“Oh, hello. Sorry I didn’t realize this was your room”

She’s dressed in a deep red dress, it’s tight to her body and falls just past her knees. There is a slit down the right side, showing an expanse of smooth leg. Her hair is pulled back into a neat up-do, soft curls frame her face.

“That’s alright. Hi” Emma’s amazed she’s managing to interact with her. She told herself she would try to be better this time, but honestly, she didn’t expect it to work. She imagines it’s because she’s so worn out from the party, her brain is too tired to freak out.

 

“Hiding away huh?” Miss Mills seems less reserved than normal. Emma would imagine it has something to do with the glass of wine in her hand.

“I got tired of the scenery”

“I don’t blame you. It is rather exhausting”

“Is that what you were trying to do too? Escape I mean”

“I suppose that would be a fair assumption. Actually, truth be told, I’m trying to avoid a particular person”

That information piqued Emma’s interest.

“And who would that be?”

“Robin Holland. He lives a few houses down, and is quite persistent in his pursuit of me”

“Oh yeah, I’ve met him. He’s a real treat. In fact, if you had been here about an hour prior you would have enjoyed the moment I called him out for his small-minded misogynistic views”

Regina burst out laughing at that, she looked so excited about the prospect.

“You’re right. I would have enjoyed that immensely”

“So you’re the unlucky lady he has his sights set on?”

“Unfortunately. Yes”.

“So, you still in need of hideout?”

This is by far the bravest Emma has ever acted around Miss Mills. It also hasn’t escaped her attention that this is the longest she’s managed to hold a conversation with her, without embarrassing herself.

“Are you offering to stash me away Miss Swan?”

She has a playful smile on her face as she gently sways back on her spot, clicking Emma’s door shut behind her.

When the door shuts, mild panic creeps in for Emma. She’s completely alone with Miss Mills now. What if she freaks out?

_You better hold your shit together Emma._

“Well, it does so happen I have the greatest hideout spot in the house”

“Is that so?” Regina quirks her eyebrow at Emma, probably because this is the most brazen Emma has ever been with her.

Emma just smiles and gestures for her to join her on the balcony.

Regina weighs up her options of climbing through the window successfully and decides to forgoes the heels, leaving them neatly by Emma’s bed.

“Would you mind?” Regina gestures to her glass of wine, which Emma delicately takes out of her hands for her, whilst she climbs through the window and out onto the roof.

Emma hands her back her glass whilst she arranges her spot slightly to make it more secluded.

She pulls the blinds down on the windows on the side where Regina is currently perched on the beanbag. And dims the lights in her room, making it harder for anyone to be able to spot them. When she climbs back out onto the roof, she’s carrying her favorite blue sweater and warm fuzzy sleep socks. Emma hands them over to Regina.

“Here. It’s cold out here”

“Well aren’t you the perfect host” Regina is watching her with an amused expression.

Emma just ducks her head embarrassed and hands over her blanket.

Ordinarily seeing Miss Mills wearing her favorite sweater would do all kind of things to her body. However, currently, the only reaction she has is to burst out laughing.

“And what pray tell is so funny?”

“You in fuzzy socks sitting on my beanbag. Its possibly the least put together I’ve ever seen you”

“Trust me I can be a lot less put together than this”

_Was that supposed to come out as flirtatious as it did?_

Regina sips at her wine observing Emma. Emma almost wants to squirm on the spot.

“You know for someone who spends so much of their time unashamedly staring, you sure do get uncomfortable when the gaze is directed at you”

Emma’s eyes widen in horror. _Who the hell confronts someone like this?_

“I don’t stare” But even without Regina’s knowing eyebrow raise, Emma knew that statement sounded like shit coming out of her mouth.

“Then what would call it?”

“Curiosity” Emma shrugs at her own half reply.

“And what is so curious about me, Em-ma”

_Jesus Christ, what is your game?_

Emma nervously laughs and picks as the sleeve of her cardigan.

“Everything”

To say Regina was stunned by that response would be an understatement.

“Well, I’m going to assume that’s a compliment, and say thank you”

“You’re welcome”

 

Deciding it’s better to move onto a safer topic Regina looks up toward the sky and away from Emma’s gaze.

“It is very beautiful out here”

All Emma could do was whisper a small “yeah” in return. Because as lame as it sounded, the sky wasn’t what held her attention.

 

Emma is drawn out of her trance when her door is suddenly swung open.

“Sorry to bother you. I don’t suppose you’ve seen a beautiful brunette around here have you” She assumes that was supposed to be Robin being charming, but it just came off as slimy.

“And to who, would you be referring? I’ve seen a lot of brunettes tonight” Of course Emma knows exactly who he’s talking about. Said beautiful brunette is currently sat about a foot away from her, trying to hide her smile whilst she rolls her eyes at the man's antics.

“Of course, my apologies. Regina Mills, do you know of her?”

“Oh yeah, you know I think I saw her about to leave like twenty minutes ago, she didn’t look too well” Emma puts on her most sympathetic face she can.

“Oh. Right, I guess I best try to find the lady in need and escort her home”

_Ugh, go fuck yourself._

Emma plants the most charming smile on her face she can possibly fake “What a gentleman” If Robin was slightly more intelligent he might have noticed her sarcastic bite, but as it's been proven multiple times over now; He’s an idiot.

 

When he finally leaves and shuts the door behind him, Emma turns back around to Regina who bursts out laughing the second she does.

“Wow, Miss Swan, I think you should consider signing up for drama club”

“Over my dead body” Emma playfully rolls her eyes and then leans over to her speakers and plays her music softly, if for no other reason than to have a buffer for the silent moments.

 

“Did you always want to teach?”

Regina considers her for a moment. “No. Actually, I always loved horses and animals and considered becoming a veterinarian”.

For some reason that wasn’t the answer Emma was expecting.

“So what happened?”

“When I was about seventeen I went through a period of my life that changed a lot of things for me. I won’t bore you with the details. But, after that, I became slightly more reserved until my English teacher at the time, who was this complete no-nonsense woman. Kept me behind class one day and told me I’m better than this and she expects more from me. She gave me detention every day for a month, but I realized it wasn’t her punishing me, but rather her sitting with me every lunch so I didn’t have to eat alone.”

Miss Mills smiles wistfully at the memory.

“She spent that time with me working on my grades and being there for me to talk to and by the time I graduated, I realized everything I had achieved was because of her. And I suppose I decided I wanted to be able to help someone else, in the same manner, one day”

If Emma hadn’t thought she was perfect before, she sure as hell did now.

 

“Wow. Do you still keep in contact with her?”

“Occasionally yes. She’s retired now and happy in her quaint little life”

“She must have been some teacher. I mean she made you the teacher you are so, she must have been pretty great” Emma has no idea what made her say that she feels like she should be embarrassed as she probably just gave herself away. But looking at the thoughtful smile on her teachers face, she realizes she doesn’t care how pathetic she sounds.

 

“It’s not very often that you actually engage in conversation with me, and I must say that’s a shame when you can be this insightful”

_That was definitely a compliment. Right?!_

“Yeah well, it’s not really all that easy to talk to you sometimes”

Emma had a feeling this was heading in a potentially dangerous direction. But out here in her safest place, with no one around to make her second guess herself. She found her walls dropping.

 

“And why is that?”

“Because. Because you’re you.”

Regina did burst our laughing at that.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Regina eyes her suspiciously.

“Fine. Don’t tell me”

Emma laughs at her teacher’s petulant behavior. Sulking because Emma won't indulge her.

 

When a song starts playing, Emma turns up her speaker, dulling out the noise from downstairs. She’s aware that Robin has probably left by now, she’s sure Miss Mills is aware of that by now too. Which begs the question, why is she still sitting out there with Emma?

“Who is this?” Regina signals to the song.

“Strangers by Kate Stewart”.

“Its good” Regina leans back and closes her eyes, she seems so content in this moment.

Emma wants to look away, she really does. But sometimes she swears it’s like she’s programmed to be completely drawn in by everything Miss Mills does.

Regina opens her eyes and stares back at Emma. It feels different to when she does it in class. Then it's like a challenge. Now it feels charged. Like there’s something else behind it.

“Curiosity killed the cat you know”

“So they say” Emma smiles at her but she does look away this time.

“You are a very fascinating individual Emma Swan”

“You’d probably be the only person who thinks that”

“What a shame on their part then”

Emma’s head snaps around to look Miss Mills in the eye. She wants to ask what she means by that.

Regina seemingly realizing what she just said, occupies herself finishing off her glass of wine.

Emma knows what’s coming before she even opens her mouth.

“Well, I imagine the coast is clear now” Its feels strained.

“Yeah probably” Emma realizes how disappointed she sounds so she tries to add a smile.

Regina stands and climbs her way back into Emma’s room, grabbing her shoes and removing the socks Emma had loaned her.

“Thank you, for being my saviour tonight” She attempts to remove the sweater but Emma stops her.

“No, it’s fine. You should borrow it, its cold out”

They both just stand awkwardly in Emma’s room waiting for the other to say something else.

“Well, thank you. I will return it”

Emma just smiles in response.

“Good night Emma” For a moment Emma thought Miss Mills was about to lean in and hug her, but its almost as if she stopped herself last minute. Instead settles for a gentle hand on the arm.

“Good night”. Emma wishes she wouldn’t leave. But she supposes this was the greatest interaction they’ve had so far.

She stands there in the middle of her room for another ten minutes after Regina leaves.

 

When Emma finally goes to bed that night, her emotions are all over the place. She realizes her simple crush might be a bit more than a crush after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!  
> So yeah I decided to update again. Two chapters in two days.   
> I just really wanted to write out this chapter.  
> Heads up this chapter is pure angst. I'm talking Evil queen Regina, angry and hurt Emma. So, be prepared.
> 
> And as always, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think <3

Emma hadn’t seen anything of Miss Mills since the Christmas party, which, is pretty weird as up until that point she had seen her almost every day in some form or another.

She’s been trying to not let it bother her, it's understandable that she’s busy. It’s the Christmas holidays, everyone is pretty busy.

That’s what Emma keeps trying to tell herself, but she can’t help this odd feeling she has. It’s like that moment when things all fall into place and you feel really happy but then dread sets in because you know something is about to happen and disturb this peace you have built. That’s what she’s been feeling.

The day after the party Emma’s sweater had appeared on her porch, freshly washed and folded neatly. To say she was disappointed that she wasn’t there to accept it from her neighbor would be an understatement. Just to be able to say “How are you feeling today?” she was a bit tipsy at the party after all. Or “Hey, did you get home ok?” Which yeah that one's a stretch, of course, she got home ok. But, Emma just wanted an excuse to talk to her again. She finally broke out of that awkward stage she had been sporting and actually found comfortable ground with Miss Mills, she doesn’t want to lose that now.

Alas, she’s seen and heard nothing. She even posted her a Christmas card through her door. It’s not like she was expecting one back, but maybe just some sort of acknowledgment would be nice.

Emma is hoping that her teacher left to go spend the holidays with her family, and when she gets back she will be back to being a constant in Emma’s day.

This is all she’s been thinking about, which, admittedly is quite sad.

Today, however, Emma has been trying to put it out of her mind and focus on MM and David. Today is Christmas day, and therefore her first Christmas with them.

Her first Christmas where parents are already up and waiting for her to come downstairs to open her presents. Actual real presents bought for her, by people who know her. Not just generic female or male presents. These have been tailored to Emma, and she can’t begin to describe how much that means.

She’s never been this spoiled her whole life. She was given a new laptop, a new book bag for school. A load of books that were on her list to read. They bought her a load of new art supplies and some clothes. It’s all so her, she’s never had anyone care enough before to get to know what she would or wouldn’t like.

 

There is no contest, this has been the best Christmas Emma has ever had. They stayed in their PJ’s all day, drinking hot cocoa, and eating a load of crappy food and playing board games. She never realized exactly what she had been missing out on before.

They’re all snuggled up on the sofa watching the Grinch when MM excuses herself to the kitchen. She returns with a large envelope in her hands giving David a knowing look, they both sit up straight next to Emma and pause the TV.

“So we kind of have one more present for you”

“Seriously? You guys have already spent so much money on me. I really don’t need anything more”

“You never know kiddo. Why don’t you open it up and tell us”?

Emma looked over at her foster parents skeptically, but see’s the happiness on their faces and trusts that it’s probably nothing bad.

She doesn’t finish pulling it all the way out of the envelope, she can see it enough. There on certified papers is her adoption certificate, stating Emma Swan as the legal child of David and Mary Margaret Nolan. Water splashes off the paper in her hands, she hadn’t even realized she was crying until her eyes are blurred with tears and she can no longer read the papers.

“You’re… I’m” Emma struggles to get out a full sentence.

“We’re officially your parents, and you’re our daughter. If you’re ok with that?”

David didn’t have to wait long for Emma’s certainty. She launches herself into their arms, all of them are crying like the absolute emotion mess they are. But none of them cared right then. This is their perfect moment.

Their family.

 

 

* * *

 

 

So, yeah Christmas was a success. In fact, it had been one of the greatest days of her life. She had been non-stop texting her friends and told them the news that she’s officially a Nolan. Well, so far she’s keeping the Swan name but they did discuss if she ever decides she wants to change her name they will be right there with her.

Everything has been perfect, she’s been so happy that she hasn’t even thought about her Anxiety of not seeing Miss Mills for weeks now.

Today that’s about to change though, it’s the first day back at school and she’s never been more excited for school before. A whole day spent with her friends and then English last period with Miss Mills. She felt untouchable.

Emma’s not surprised to see her friends standing outside the school doors waiting for her.

Ruby spots her first, something similar to a scream leaves Ruby’s mouth as she throws her arms around Emma.

“I’ve missed you so much”

“Rubes, you literally saw me like two days ago” Even as she says it though, she’s laughing.

“Yeah but its been like a really long two days”

“Ah, there’s our favorite Nolan” Killian also envelops Emma in a hug, they had been texting a lot whilst he had been in New York and he’s been non stop talking about how she’s official now. She’s never had a group of people care so much about her happiness before, it’s nice.

“Still Swan actually, I’m not sure about changing my name yet”.

“Point still counts though”

Even Belle seems a lot better around Emma today, she actually seems happy to be in the same room as her. Neal thankfully hasn’t brought up the party, so she assumes she didn’t completely embarrass him in front of his dad’s employee.

All her friends are catching up about what they all got up to in the holidays and as interested as she is to hear it, her attention is pulled away. Miss Mills has just pulled into the car park. She’s dressed one of her classic pantsuits, though it does seem a little more conservative than normal. Still nice, but just slightly different.

She flings her bag over her shoulder, grabbing the folder off the top of her car and starts marching toward the building. She looks up in time to make eye contact with Emma. Emma sends her a little wave and a sweet smile. She doesn’t exactly get the response she was hoping for, Miss Mills looks away and storms into the building acting like Emma didn’t even exist.

_Ok, what the fuck?!_

She really wishes that hadn’t hurt her as much as it did.

 

Emma is thrown off from that one encounter for the remainder of the day. It completely ruined her good mood, instead, it's put her on edge, her anxiety crippling her at the thought of what awaits her in her final class of the day. She’s barely paid attention to anything said to her all day, her friends keep asking her what’s wrong as she was so happy at the beginning of the day. But what can she tell them, the person she has feelings for who also happens to be her teacher made her feel like shit and she thinks it was on purpose?

By the time her English class rolled around, Emma was dragging her feet into the room, Ruby kept asking if she was ok, she had to say she was just not feeling too well and hoped that would suffice for now.

 

Miss Mills is sat at the desk already as they walk through the door, a few of her students welcoming her back and asking if she had a nice Christmas. Surprisingly Miss Mills does reply to them, she even smiles and thanks them for asking.

_Ok, so she’s not in a shitty mood with everyone. Only me apparently._

For some reason, it pisses Emma off so much. She hasn’t done anything wrong.

She assumes she knows what’s going on. Miss Mills got drunk at Emma’s house and spent most of the evening sitting alone with her by her bedroom whilst inebriated telling her stories of her past and opening up to her.

If she was to guess she would say Miss Mills is embarrassed.

_She doesn’t have to act like such a dick about it though._

Miss Mills didn’t spare Emma one glance during class, the only time she acknowledged Emma’s existence is when Ruby dropped her pencil and it rolled under Emma’s seat so she handed it back to Ruby and Ruby thanked her.

Miss Mills snapped at her in class drawing everyone’s attention to her as she told her to either stop talking in her class or get out of said class.

Emma was mortified. She’s never seen the alleged Evil Queen before, now she has, she can honestly say she isn’t a fan.

She sits in class dead still for the remainder of it, her head down low, staring a hole into her notebook. She can feel tears welling in her eyes from the embarrassment and yeah the hurt too. Her teacher had never been mean to her before.

By the time the bell rang Emma didn’t even wait for Miss Mills to excuse the class, she snatches her stuff in anger and practically storms out of the room and runs out of the main school doors. She vaguely hears Ruby worriedly shouting after her, but she can’t face anyone right now she just wants to go home.

 

Emma makes it home and by the time she does she has already burst into tears, she’s glad David and MM aren’t home. She knows she wouldn’t be able to tell them why she was so upset.

Instead, she throws her bedroom door shut, locking it behind her and cries herself to sleep ignoring the concerned texts from her friends that kept going off on her phone.

 

* * *

 

 

The next week goes the same, she just feels angry. She dismisses her friends asking if she’s ok, she’s gotten good in life at pretending she’s fine. So far they seem happy with her responses.

She has seen Miss Mills a few times since her moment of cruel humiliation. She walked into the cafeteria on Wednesday and Emma looked away from her before she could even notice her. Normally Emma can’t keep her eyes away from her English teacher, but right now she can’t stand to look at her.

Thursday lunch Emma is checking a book out of the library when Miss Mills sees her. She actually started making her way toward Emma so Emma panicked, ditched the book and sped out of the library before she could reach her.

She doesn’t know what she wanted to say, and she doesn’t care. Well, ok she does care, but she’s still really angry right now.

 

It’s Friday meaning this awful week is almost over, but first, she has to survive another English class. She’s tempted to go to the nurse and say she’s feeling sick and go home, just so she doesn’t have to sit in a room with Miss Mills for an hour. She doesn’t think she can manage it.

Yet, here she is walking into English with Ruby right beside her. She keeps her head down and walks straight to her seat pulling out her belongings. She can feel Miss Mills eyes on her but she won't give her the satisfaction of looking up. Instead, she pulls out their assigned reading material and tucks her head into her hand to hide her face even more, whilst she zones out everything in the room.

She hasn’t said one word all class, even when Miss Mills tried to make her engage with her, she asks Emma her views on archetypes in literature and why they hold such an impact on the readers. And she did have an answer, in fact under normal circumstances, she could talk about it for ages. About how people see what they want to in characters, they manifest their own desires onto them because they’re someone to relate to. An outlet for all the desires you can’t live out yourself. Almost as if they use characters as a way to forgive themselves for their own sins. Whether they relate to the hero, the villain or the anti-hero. It usually says a lot about the underlining nature of each individual person.

Instead, all that came out her mouth was “Don’t know” and she kept her head down again. She was surprised Miss Mills didn’t call her out for it. She knows Emma knows the topic. Though, it seems today she felt like being merciful.

Her misery is almost over, she quickly shoves her stuff into her bag as the bell rings and she’s about to practically sprint out of the room.

Miss Mills seemingly knows what she’s about to do too.

“Miss Swan if you could please remain behind class for a moment?”

Emma wanted to tell her that no actually she can’t, but she knows that won't end well for her, she would probably get a phone call sent to David and Mary Margaret from the school wanting to discuss Emma’s attitude problem.

Emma sighs and leans back on her desk, keeping her bag on her shoulder so she’s ready to leave at any moment. Ruby gives her a sympathetic smile and grazes her arm as she walks out of the class, leaving Emma alone with Miss Mills.

She can feel her heart pounding, her hands feel clammy. She can’t look at her teacher, she knows that’s what Miss Mills is waiting for, she can feel her silently watching her.

Finally realizing she isn’t about to get Emma’s attention, Regina sighs.

“Well, I guess I can’t say I don’t deserve your attitude” She almost sounds sad about it, Emma wants to scoff at her but she remains silent.

“I’m sorry”

If Emma wasn’t so angry she would be more open to the apology, she can hear the sincerity in it, but still, she’s hurt.

“Will you at least look at me”?

Emma begrudgingly lifts her head up and holds her stare. She knows her features look cold, but that’s because they are. She’s pissed off.

“That’s a start at least”

“Is this about something in particular or can I go home now?” She knows it's her voice but somehow it sounds colder.

Regina sighs again and moves closer to Emma. Emma wants to move back but she knows if she does then she will show her how much she affects her and she’s not willing to look weak in front of this woman right now.

“I’m sorry” Regina says it softer this time, almost as a whisper.

For some reason that pisses Emma off even more.

_How dare she act all sad about this._

“For what exactly? For acting like I don’t exist? Or for humiliating me for literally no reason?”

Regina flinches at Emma’s words.

“All of the above”

Emma just rolls her eyes, ready to walk out the class.

“I was out of line. I had no right to act the way that I did. I penalized you for unfair reasons. That was cruel of me. I didn’t intend to be cruel, I don’t want to be cruel. Not with you”

Emma wants to cry. She can feel the burning behind her eyes.

_What does ‘not with you’ mean?_

She can feel that she about to crack, she’s about one more apology away from bursting into tears and she refuses to let Miss Mills see her cry.

“Great, apology accepted. Can I leave now?” Emma’s voice sounds desperate, she internally cringes at how it sounds.

Regina must see that Emma is close to tears, she can see the panic in her eyes.

“Yes, Emma. You may leave.”

Emma barely waits for her to finish her sentence before she races out the door. She doesn’t look back.

If she had she would have seen she isn’t the only person upset at their new dynamic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I warned you. Angsty.  
> Don't hate me too much, thing will be on the mend soon :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!  
> Couple things first:  
> 1) I was super sleep deprived when I finished this chapter so please excuse any and all mistakes.  
> 2) I really appreciate all your lovely comments and I do make it my mission to try and respond to all of them.
> 
> Ok, so we're finally getting that prolonged conversation between Regina and Emma.
> 
> As always i hope you enjoy and let me know your thought <3

Emma has felt miserable for weeks. She hates this. Hates caring this much about another person.

After her talk with Miss Mills on Friday, Emma felt like crap, she walked around town for hours until finally going home. She felt guilty about her reaction, she knows Miss Mills was trying to make things right. She knows that technically that means she cares about Emma at least a little bit, if she didn’t she wouldn't have acted the way she did.

That should make her feel good, but all it does is make her feel worst. Friday night by the time Emma got home, Miss Mills was already home. Her car was parked on her driveway and the lights were on upstairs. Emma imagines that’s her bedroom. She considered knocking, but that would be too weird, and super uncomfortable.

For once she decides to ignore that instinct inside her that draws her to her teacher.

 

Saturday is no better. She has plans with Killian later, his band is playing at some café out of town and she promised she’d support him. But that’s hours away and nothing is helping her mood in the meantime.

Deciding she needs an outlet, Emma throws on a pair of leggings and a sports bra and goes out for a run. Its pretty cold out, it is January after all, but she can’t say she cares all that much, the fresh air will hopefully help clear her head.

Considering she doesn’t go out running as much as she used to, Emma’s quite surprised at how long she lasts. She’s been out for about an hour and is about ready to collapse when she finally gets home.

The second she walks through the door though, she wished she had stayed out longer. Mary Margaret is in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee with Regina. She’s dressed casual today, a pair of light blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt with a black jacket. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail. _It's cute_.

Emma instantly wants to frown at her own thought process. She’s still mad.

She should just escape to her bedroom and shower but she’s dying for a drink and she has a nice cold bottle of water waiting for her in the fridge.

“Hey, sweetie how was your run?"

Mary Margaret alerts Regina to Emma’s presence, she turns toward Emma momentarily startled before she cools her features and seems to evaluate Emma. Maybe she’s wondering if Emma will blow up at her in front of Mary Margaret.

“It was good”

If Mary Margaret can sense the tense atmosphere in the room she doesn’t comment on it.

Emma walks past where her teacher is perched on the bar stool and grabs her water from the fridge, downing half of it in one go.

“You remember Regina? One of our packages got delivered to her house earlier whilst we were out, she kindly brought it round” Emma realized at that moment that Mary Margaret had no idea that Regina was Emma’s English teacher. She supposes they’ve not held any teacher-parent meetings yet, and they never ask to check her work for the class as they know how dedicated Emma is.

She does find it strange though that Regina hasn’t mentioned it, she doesn’t seem to correct her now either.

“Uh, yeah hi” She’s aware her tone holds no emotion to it, Mary Margaret did look at her then, probably because it's the first time she’s seen Emma act less than friendly to someone she’s introduced her too before. She kind of feels bad.

Regina politely nods to her in acknowledgment. _Guess I’m not the only one uncomfortable then._

“Are you still going out tonight?"

Mary Margaret must finally be feeling some of the awkward tension.

“Yeah, Killian's band is playing at some café outside of town. He’s picking me up in a couple hours”

“Oh ok, well please be careful, and try to not get home too late”

“Don’t worry I will. I’m gonna go shower and get ready though”

“Ok, sweetie”

Emma knows she can’t just walk out of the room without saying goodbye to Regina or Mary Margaret will see that as her being rude and she really doesn’t want that conversation being brought up.

“Bye” Well, that’s as good as she can do apparently.

She hears a faint ‘bye’ from her teacher as she’s leaving, but doesn’t want to draw any attention to it so she pretends she didn’t hear her.

 

_Great, so I guess that could have gone worse._

 

* * *

 

 

Emma is surprised to say she’s actually having a good time tonight. Killian is actually really good, he’s the lead singer which shouldn’t be surprising, he does love the attention. The band are nice too and really welcoming.

Emma has had two coffees already; she figures she should probably switch to something else soon or she will never sleep tonight. Then again it is Sunday tomorrow.

Killians band finish their set before joining her at the booth.

“Wow, who knew you actually had talent” These are her favourite moments, being able to joke around with her friends.

“Laugh it up Swan. But you’re in the presence of a star”

They both burst out laughing at his comment. Things with Killian are so easy.

“Seriously, though. You were great”

“Thanks Swan. Means a lot you came”

Emma bumps him on his should affectionately before turning to some girl grinding on what she hopes is her boyfriends lap. _Seriously it’s a café?_

Killian seeming to notice what she’s looking at joins in on her amusement.

“Wow. Why do I feel like that’d be you?"

“Rude much? Even I have more tact than that. What about you? You saying if you were with a cute guy right now, you wouldn’t be all over him?"

_If only you knew._

“No. I’m not the fawning all over someone type” Emma tries to joke it off but it doesn’t go unnoticed by Killian that she referred to a perspective date as ‘someone’ not ‘some guy’.

“Fair enough. What type are you?"

“What?"

“Wel,l what’s your type?"

Emma panics momentarily before deciding Killians question is pretty innocent as far as topics between friends go.

“I guess I’d want someone who kept my interest. Someone funny, but not in that immature way. And, you just look at them and feel like a complete idiot” Emma smiles wistfully. She wishes a certain person didn’t come to mind in this scenario.

“Them?”

“Huh?"

“You keep referring to this ideal person as a them. Gender unspecified. I guess I was wondering why?"

Killian must see the panic on Emma’s face and how she frantically looks around the room in case anyone is listening to them.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to tell me. But, if you ever did want to talk about it with someone, I’m a pretty great listener”

She doesn’t mean to cry, but her emotions betray her. She never expected it to be this easy with someone. The only friend she had ever come out to before was Jenny from middle school and she told the teachers, who in return told Emma’s foster mother, who then gave Emma back.

“Her. It would be a her” It’s the smallest Emma has ever sounded.

Killian just smiles at her in a knowing way, as if he knew it all along anyway.

“Well, she’d be one very lucky lass” that’s all Killian says on the matter and pulls Emma into a side hug whilst they listen to the other band perform.

 

...............................

 

When Emma gets home that night, she feels like laughing. It’s been such a rollercoaster of emotions lately. Everything with Regina and now coming out to Killian. Having someone to confide intakes such a huge weight off her shoulders.

Killian blasts off down the street, his music far too loud for a small town at this time of night, but all she can do is laugh at him. He has a way of making her feel better and she knows she’s lucky to Killian as a friend.

Emma takes a calming breath before walking into the house. She looks up whilst she breathes in the night. A flash of light grabs her attention, by the time she looks in the direction all she sees is the curtains of what she assumes is Regina's bedroom, moving.

_Was she watching me?_

Emma thinks she should be worried about how much that thought affects her. But, she can’t bring herself to care.

Not tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Well, another week has come and gone that means its now time to torture herself at school all over again. Ever since her fall out (if you can even call it that) with Regina happened, her excitement for school dropped drastically. Don’t get her wrong, Emma loves certain aspects of school, she enjoys her classes, well most of them. And she loves spending time with her friends. But, now everything has a tension to it; she walks into the cafeteria and instantly looks around to make sure her English teacher isn’t there. If she is, she tries to convince her friends to eat outside for the day. Which is fine when the weather isn’t too bad, but she suggested it last week when it was pouring down with rain and all her friends looked at her like she might be losing her mind.

And then English has always been Emma’s favorite class, now she’s just filled with constant dread at the thought of it. She keeps her head down and doesn’t engage with anyone in the class.

She knows it's affecting Regina too, she can feel every time she’s looking at her. It’s like every hair on her body is standing on edge and she knows that if she looked up in that moment she would lock eyes with her. So she never looks up.

 

Today is no different, Regina continues the with class as normal, never directing her questions at Emma as she knows she wont answer them and she has never asked Emma to remain behind class again since that first time.

Things are awkward both at school and at home. She feels on edge every time she leaves the comfort of her bedroom. Will she suddenly bump into her outside? Will she bring around more postal mishaps?

Emma hates everything about their new dynamic, and it’s constantly keeping her in a bad mood.

So, when she leaves school that day to find a torrential downpour happening outside, it’s like the final nail to the coffin.

 

Most of the school had cleared out by now and she should have left when Ruby did, but like the idiot she is, Emma decided to go to the library first to check out a new book. Which she’s now clearly regretting.

_Kill me._

She was so focused on staring blind hatred at the rain, that she hadn’t even notice someone come up behind her.

“I gather you don’t have a means of getting home dry?"

It’s the first time she’s properly heard Regina address her in weeks, and she hates how much she’s missed it.

“I’m fine”

Emma expected her teacher to accept the bite in her tone as she always does lately and walk away saying nothing. What she didn’t expect however was for Regina to snatch her book bag out of her arms in a huff and take off to her car.

“What the hell?"

“I’m driving you home”

“No, you’re not. I said I’m fine”

Regina doesn’t even flinch at her, she just opens the passenger side of the car and places Emma’s bag in the seat.

“It wasn’t a suggestion” It’s the first time Regina has ever snapped back at Emma (well excusing the original class humiliation moment that lead to all this) and something in her gave off the impression that this isn’t one she is willing to back down from.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” Emma drags herself out into the rain, sliding past Regina and slumping down into the passenger seat.

Regina for her part seemed completely composed, as though she hadn’t just forced Emma into her car and therefore into an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Emma keeps shifting uncomfortably in her seat and gazing out of the window, trying to ignore the close proximity of her teacher. It’s because she was staring so intensely outside that she noticed they weren’t heading home.

“Where are we going?"

“Oh so she speaks after all”

_Great sarcasm just what I need._

It’s only when Regina pulls into an empty parking lot by the beach that she final turns to Emma.

“We’re going to talk”

Emma is aware this is the moment she is supposed to say something in acknowledgment, however instead she just breathes out a tired sigh. She’s so tired of being angry.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I behaved, I’m sorry that I treated you unfairly, I’m sorry that I embarrassed you, I’m sorry that I let my personal emotions affect my professionalism. But mostly, I’m sorry that I hurt you so much that you can’t even look at me”

She sounds so sad, that’s the first thing Emma notices. How her tone of voice always changes around Emma.

“Why?"

“I just explained why. I…”

“No, not why are you sorry. Why did act the way you did in the first place? And why do you care so much what I think about you now?"

Regina seems as though she wasn’t prepared for those types of questions. If she was being honest with herself, she expected Emma to not say anything or just say it’s fine in anger and storm out the car. But, she’s so composed right now, nothing like the angry teen she was before.

“I’m not perfect Emma. Sometimes I make less than rational choices. Such as getting drunk in front of a student and allowing myself to be that way alone with you in your bedroom. It was seriously unprofessional. And I suppose I panicked, I worried how that would seem if anyone found out about it. I just panicked” The last part came out so soft Emma could barely hear her. None of this is news to her, she figured straight away that this is what happened. But it’s nice to have it confirmed.

Emma did finally turn to her at this point, she didn’t seem angry anymore. She’s calm, and she’s focused.

Regina looked as though she might finally crack at having Emma finally look her in the eye again.

“Honestly, I had already figured that much. What I don’t understand however is why you panicked to such a degree. Everyone at that stupid party was drunk, I’m sure plenty of people acted inappropriately. So yeah I saw you slightly intoxicated. So what? Did I make you feel as though you should be worried about that? Did I make you feel uncomfortable, to the point that you got so worried you thought you could lose your job?”

“Emma no, I just”

“You just thought I was the type of person that would get you into trouble. That I would do something reckless and put your entire career at risk?” Ok, so she’s pretty angry still.

“Emma that wasn’t…”

“What upset me wasn’t that you reacted the way you did. Which yeah that was shitty. What bothered me so much was that you were honestly so worried about there being a backlash from that night. That you thought so little of me, as though I would do anything that could put you at risk”

At least Regina had the decency to look ashamed.

“Do you know what I though about that night?"

Regina couldn’t speak, afraid she might upset Emma even more. Swallowing the lump in her throat she shakes her head to encourage Emma to continue.

“I thought that for the first time in a really long time there was someone in my life I could confide in. I found it easy to talk to you. I let my guard down. Do you know how many times in my life I’ve ever allowed myself to let my guard down? No more than a handful. And most of them I’ve regretted. It’s been people that used me and hurt me. People who lash out at me and make me doubt myself”. Taking a calming breath, she continues.

“Look I’m not going to sit here and pretend that my interests in you stop at the student teacher mark. But I would never have done anything to make you feel uncomfortable or that could put everything you’ve worked for in your life at risk. I just wanted to know you better. I don’t meet many people that I decide I care I about. But I cared to know you”.

Emma wants to tell herself that she’s imagining the moisture in her teacher’s eyes, though when Regina finally speaks, the rough edge to her tone tells her just how emotional she is over this.

“I didn’t stop to think about you in this if I’m being honest. And that was my biggest error. I’m not blind Emma, I see the way you look at me. Honestly, I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me like that before. And I worried that that moment gave you some form of confirmation. That maybe it would mess the situation up. Blur the lines so to speak. My natural reaction was to push, and for that I’m sorry”.

Emma sits there wondering how they got to this point, to them sitting in a car parked next to the beach in the middle of winter addressing the fact that Emma has feelings for her teacher. Everything has blown up, and if Emma had any sense left she’d walk out of the car in embarrassment and never talk about any of this again. But she wont allow herself to back down from this. Whatever this is.

“Ok”

“Ok? That’s it”?

Emma takes a moment to think it over. “Yeah that’s it”

She knows her response has thrown Regina off because she keeps opening her mouth as though she’s about to say something, to argue back to Emma, but no words seem to formulate.

“Look. You said what you said, and yeah you can’t take that moment back, but I accept your apology. I understand that you panicked. I get that. I really do. And I told you what I needed to say and I think you understand where I’m coming from. And I think without being too presumptuous, that we both really hate this uncomfortableness? I’m not saying I’m going to be able to go back to how I was with you before. But I also don’t want to continue acting the way I have been acting either. So how I about we make a deal”?

Regina finally seemed to be coming back around to normalcy.

“That wouldn’t be presumptuous no. What do you have in mind”?

“Well, how about, when at school we stay completely professional. In those halls, you’re my teacher and nothing more. I promise to try to control my gaze and to stop being uncomfortable. And then at home, we have some form of a friendly relationship, or else living next to each other is going to be hell”

“Friendly how”?

“Well for one, when you wave at me in the morning, I will wave back. And if for some reason I find you at my house, you’re Regina my slightly friendly neighbor and I will act in accordance to that”.

“And that’s what you want”?

Emma felt so completely done with all the drama of late. She just wanted some form of normalcy back in her life.

“What I want is to not dread walking into your class every week. What I want is to not worry about seeing you everyday and not knowing how to act. So yes, if this will clear up all of those lines. Then yes, this is what I want”.

Emma expected Regina to seem relieved, things could become normal again. At school, she’d just be any other one of her students and at home, she could just be her neighbor. Nothing more.

Yet, oddly Regina looked deflated.

“Very well then” Regina deciding this talk was finished for now, pulled out of the car park and drove them home in silence.

Emma is sure now is the moment she is supposed to get out of the car and walk through her front door. But they both just sit there in silence leaving the engine running. She feels Regina look at her out the corner of her eye. This time she does indulge her curiosity, one last time.

They seem to have an entire conversation just with their eyes. Just sitting there waiting for the other to say something.

Emma being unable to take the tension anymore, smiles at Regina before looking away and stepping out of the car. She hears Regina turn off the engine and follow behind her.

“Well, goodnight Regina” It feels weird saying Regina’s first name but they had agreed that here she is just Emma’s neighbor Regina. Nothing more or less.

Regina tries her best to fit into that role too.

“Goodnight Emma”.

She knows that realistically that went pretty well, things have ben cleared up between them.

But, all she can see is that sadness in Regina’s eyes, and she thinks that maybe they haven’t resolved anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, so Emma and Regina are taking a turn in their relationship. But don't get too sad as you know most things never remain the way they are for long :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taken me ages to upload, I won't go into full detail but I've not had much space in my mind for writing the past few months. But I'm finally back.
> 
> Hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> <3

Things had been smooth. Well as smooth as she could hope considering the past month or so. At school, she's been acting normal, well maybe not her old normal, but average student normal. 

Emma applies herself in class, answers any questions directed at her. And, always contributes if necessary. So maybe she doesn't go out of her way to put her hand up to contribute her thoughts. But, she has them at the ready if she ever finds herself being called upon. Though as it stands, Regina really doesn't call on her all that often. 

Another thing that isn't quite their old ‘normal’.

But it's as good as can be all things considered. Emma walks into class, keeps her eyes to herself no matter how much she wants to look for her teacher. And only once she's sat in her seat all of her notes out ready for the class does she finally look up to address her teacher. Just like any other normal student.

She even throws in a polite smile, albeit isn't a very long or heartfelt smile, but it's professional. And hey that's what they decided on. Regina smiles back although it always looks oddly strained. Emma decides that it doesn't matter why. She's just accepting whatever these days. Trying to make this as easy as possible for both of them.

 

Class isn't as painful now as it once was, you could even say they're kind of getting used to their new normal. Emma tries to not let it take up too much of her thoughts, instead hanging with her friends more often and being a normal teenager like she's supposed to be.

 

And home, well that's fine too. Better than fine even. MM and David are as great as always. Regina hasn't found a reason to have any impromptu visits to Emma’s house since the last one or well at least none that Emma is aware of. She's just their friendly neighbor Regina.

 

So yeah things are fine. Completely and utterly fine. And if she sounds like she mildly hates the word fine. Well, that's just what it is. Fine.

* * *

 

The year seems to flying by. Its something everyone always says as they get older. That each year feels even shorter than the year before. But it really did feel like that. She's already been meeting with Colleges for after graduation. She has her top three choices, MIT, Yale, and Stamford. It's a pretty odd sensation for her to think of herself at an ivy league school. but she has the grades, has the extra credit and well if she happens to have a tragic backstory that helps her stand out, just this time she's willing to utilize it. Because she knows no matter what, she did this. She's gotten herself where she is today with hardly any help from others. In fact, you could say in spite of others. And well she's damn proud of herself. And she just knows her parents are too.

 

Finals are coming up soon, she's prepping non-stop, she might have top grades but that doesn't mean she can allow herself to slack off even slightly. So she spends most of her days in a trance when not with her friends or parents, she's in the library or sitting outside in the nice weather studying. Honestly, when she's so wrapped up into her own mind as she currently is, sitting at the only empty table in the library with papers scattered all around her pen in her mouth earphones blocking out everyone, she could probably miss anything. The building could be on fire and she wouldn't notice.

The library is especially busy this evening, seeing as its drawing so close to finals everyone is on high stress, cramming in as much research as they can. Emma’s pretty prepared as it is but you know what they say. ‘You can never be too prepared for anything’.

 

Because of how caught up she is, she doesn't hear the clearing of a throat next to her, so when she smells that perfume she knows embarrassingly well, she stills.

Looking to her left Emma lets her eyes travel up to the woman standing not even 20cm away from her. It takes her a lot longer than she wants it to for her eyes to finally settle on Regina’s face. But thankfully neither of them comment on it. Emma yanks her earphones out of her ears, both embarrassed and seriously confused as to why Regina might be trying to get her attention. She hardly ever tries to get Emma’s attention anymore.

 

“I’m sorry, what”?

 

“I said, would you mind if I joined you. There aren't any other seats available” Regina gestures around the room as if to prove her point. 

 

“Oh. Um, sure. Yeah, that's. Fine” Fine. There's that word again. Emma wants to cringe at herself but she promised herself she would be completely normal around this woman from now on. So she grabs all her loose notes and pulls them closer to herself, allowing her teacher some room to place out her own papers.

 

Regina thanks her and takes a seat two seats away from Emma. It's still entirely too close for Emma’s liking.

She tries to go back into her own head again, placing her headphones back in and looking back down to the page she was reading. But she can’t. She just keeps reading the same line over and over again. She's aware of every slight movement Regina makes. Every time her hand reaches out to turn a page or to take a sip of her water. It takes all the will power Emma has to not follow that bottles line of sight up to her mouth.

 

_Clear thoughts. Clear thoughts._

 

Surprisingly she manages it for the next hour. Gets five more pages of notes done until her hands feel cramped and her back is hurting from sitting for so long. She finally looks up and notices Regina is still working hard on whatever it is she's working on. Pensive frown and everything.

Emma does realize quite surprisingly though that most people have cleared out for the night. Meaning there is an abundance of free tables and seats now for Regina to move to. _Has she just not realized?_

 

Emma feels exhausted she just wants to groan out loud. Which embarrassingly she realizes she does. Because finally, Regina’s attention is on her. And it's not the uncomfortable one she usually wears lately. No this is the old Regina. She looks amused. Thankfully everyone else in the library seems to have their own headphones in or are asleep. So, no one else can add to her embarrassment.

 

“That bad huh?”

 

Emma doesn't know how to feel about Regina talking to her. She guesses this still falls in normal teacher-student conversations. Emma’s sure if any other student was in Emma’s place right now and did the same Regina would probably also joke with them too, right? _Right?!_

 

“You could say that. I stopped feeling my hands ten minutes ago”

 

Regina actually laughs at that. Not a fully belly laugh but its a laugh nonetheless. 

 

“I admit my eyes are straining a little too hard right now”

 

Huh, so this is what a normal conversation with a teacher must be like.

 

“What are you working on?”

 

Emma internally cringes at her own weakness, she should have just offered a sympathetic smile and then carried on with her own work. Not extend their conversation.

 

“Mock papers mostly. But also some of the lower years assignments”

 

Emma nods in acknowledgment.

 

“Thoroughly enjoyable read then, huh?”

 

She knows she shouldn't be joking with her teacher. It probably crosses those invisible boundaries they set all those months ago.

 

It is a true heartfelt laugh she receives from Regina that time. _Ugh_ , she hates how it makes her stomach twist.

 

“You have no idea” She doubts Regina meant for that to sound as flirtatious as it came out. But then again, she did have that glint back in her eyes. So maybe she’s more aware than Emma thought.

 

Now Emma knows that pesky line is getting close. And yet, she's enjoying herself.

 

“I’ll trade you. I’ll take your pubescent Tweens notes on what is probably meant to pass as academic literature. And you can tackle my paper on evolution and natural selection” Emma gave her her most charming smile. A Playfulness to her posture.

 

“Slightly ambitious wouldn't you say Miss swan?”

 

“I’m nothing if not ambitious” Okay yeah this definitely qualifies as flirting.

 

Regina’s beaming smile in return is nothing if not a perfect incentive for Emma to continue their conversation. Hey call her weak all you want but hell, she's missed that smile.

 

“I bet. So tell me a fact about evolution Em-ma” Its a challenge plain and clear. 

 

“Well. Firstly science is nothing if not fact and theory. When non-biologists talk about biological evolution they often confuse two different aspects of the definition. On the one hand, there is the question of whether or not modern organisms have evolved from older ancestral organisms or whether modern species are continuing to change over time. On the other hand, there are questions about the mechanism of the observed changes... how did evolution occur? Biologists consider the existence of biological evolution to be a fact. It can be demonstrated today and the historical evidence for its occurrence in the past is overwhelming. However, biologists readily admit that they are less certain of the exact mechanism of evolution; there are several theories of the mechanism of evolution”

 

Regina is trying and failing to hide her own smile. Emma won’t ever admit to her that she got most of the extract off an article. Let her be impressed.

 

“Interesting. I admit science was never my forte in school. I’m sure it will be unsurprising to know I favored literature”.

 

But no it's not surprising. But even if anyone could determine that by Regina’s choice of topic to teach and how passionate she is about it. Emma remembers with perfect clarity that day on her balcony as Regina told her all about it.

 

“No. Not surprising at all” Emma says far too quietly and suddenly the joking atmosphere between the two seemed to take a heavy air to it.

 

Sensing the sudden awkwardness, Regina feels a need to change the topic.

 

“So is that what you’re planning on specializing in, in College?"

 

“No. Actually, I was leaning more toward literature and philosophy”

 

That did seem to take Regina by surprise. Sure she knew Emma was exceedingly intelligent and talented if all of her work was to go by. But all the teachers spoke highly of Emma. Regina just figured she applied herself in all her classes.

 

“Really? Well, I have no doubt you will be exceedingly successful in your choice”

 

It was so earnest Emma didn't really have a reply. Is a thank you the right response? Probably but then that would also be pretty egotistical as she’d be agreeing. On the other hand, acting bashful really isn't Emma’s style. 

She settles with a smile. She hopes it says everything she wants it to.

 

It’s simultaneously perfect timing and terrible timing on Killian's part to come bounding up to their table.

 

“Hey Swan, you about ready to ditch this joint?”

 

“Hey Killian, Wasn't your detention supposed to end an hour ago?”

 

“Yeah but I pissed off Gold so he made me stay an extra hour to ‘learn my lesson’”

 

Emma rolls her eyes at her friend, slowly pulling all her work together and saving what she had written on her laptop.

 

“And would you say you’ve learned your lesson, Mr. Jones?”

 

To say Killian hadn't even noticed Regina was sitting next to Emma would be an understatement. However, he always was good at pulling himself together quickly.

 

“You know me, Miss Mills, I’m a fast learner. And may I say, you're looking lovely this evening”

 

Some might find Killian slimy but honestly, he was just a goofball. He would never actually make a pass at someone he knows wouldn't reciprocate. He just likes to play the charmer a bit too well. Or at least try.

 

“You may not”

 

Emma has no doubt that Regina probably deals with comments a lot from students and parents alike. She is ridiculously attractive. But she's also very confident in flat out turning people down.

She didn't seem annoyed at Killian’s words though, just apparently his presence in the first place.

Emma was not about to evaluate that.

 

Killian being his usual self slides right past her comment with a smile and ‘fair enough’ and starts grabbing Emma’s backpack for her with a ‘let me, milady’

 

Emma was about to laugh at the ridiculousness that is her friend but one look to Regina and she decides against it. Sitting there is every bit of the evil queen she's heard about.

 

“Right, well. Goodnight Miss Mills”

 

Emma’s expecting either no response or a shitty one. She knows what Regina is like when in a pissed off mood.

Surprisingly though she fully turns to Emma offers her one of her rare kind smiles.

 

“Goodnight Miss Swan”

 

Then turning slightly more passive to Killian.

 

“Mr. Jones”

 

Huh, so its Killian she's apparently not impressed with. Emma assumes its probably his comment. What else could it be?

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've done a double update. You all deserved it considering how long you had to wait for the last chapter.
> 
> I will say you have another party to enjoy this chapter, and I really enjoyed writing that scene.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy! <3

With exams, fast approaching Emma is at an all-time high-stress level. School feels chaotic at the moment and then there’s the pending doom of where she is going to go for college. She’s been looking forward to college for most of her life but that was before she finally had a good home. Now it would mean leaving her home, her parents and the town she's come to love and her friends depending on where she chooses. And it's all just a lot.

 

She can feel herself constantly on the verge of a breakdown lately. She hates herself for it, but the stress has been too much.

That's why pretty much every day this week she's gone for a run. It helps her clear her mind and calm herself. 

Tonight it was really needed. She was stressing in her room, texting Ruby when she decided to throw on her gym clothes and go for a late-night run. And it really was late, gone 9 pm.

If her parents thought to comment on her choice to work out this late they decided not to follow through with it. They just gave her the usual spiel of ‘keep your phone on you’ and ‘be safe’.

 

It isn’t until gone 10 pm when Emma finally turns back onto her street. Just as she’s getting closer to her home, she notices Regina stood out on her porch with a man dressed a bit too nice to be casual. It doesn't take a genius to figure out they've been on a date, but Emma is surprised to see the time, a bit early for a date to end.

That oddly helps keep her jealously down slightly. Well only for a moment. It comes back swinging the second the man leans in for a goodnight kiss. If Emma hadn’t been so filled with disgust that moment and not turned away she might have noticed Regina turn her face slightly so the man only had access to her cheek.

It isn't until she’s quietly walking up her drive hoping Regina doesn't spot her, that all eyes turn to her. Her dad put up a stupid motion detector light that comes on anytime someone approaches the house. And it's no dim light. No, it could light the whole fucking neighborhood.

Emma wants to dig a hole and curl up in it. She knows Regina is watching her now as she fumbles for her keys. Even if she didn't have that weird six sense that tells her every time she has Regina’s attention. Then the man calling for Regina’s attention and asking ‘who’s that’ in regard to Emma holding said woman’s attention, would be a big give away.

She doesn't know if she should turn around and do the polite neighborly thing and say hi. But she honestly really doesn't want to because she knows with absolute certainty that she would be nothing but impolite right now.

 

Instead, Emma manages after fumbling for a minute with her keys to finally open the door and quickly shut it behind her. Not turning once in recognition to either of them.

She doubts Regina would have wanted to introduce her to the man, so hopefully, she can’t be too annoyed at Emma’s rudeness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thank god its the weekend is all Emma can say. Its been a rough week. She's so tired. 

All she wants is to chill at home with her parents and maybe hang with her friends.

So when her mother informs her that they have all been invited to a party down the street, Emma wants to scream in complaint.

But she sees the look in her mom's eye, getting to show off her family to all her neighbors and friends. And Emma can’t seem to say no.

 

Which is why she’s stood downstairs waiting for her parents to join her dressed in a nice casual summer dress, it’s white with yellow flowers and falls just short of her knees and yeah she looks pretty even if her face screams ‘I don’t want to do this’. She's even wearing a small pair of chunky white heels and her hair is straightened. _Why did I put this much effort in?_

 

She knows the answer of course. The entire street was invited, and that meant the possibility of one particular neighbor being there.

 

Emma spends the first hour staying close to her parent's side like a child afraid to lose her mom in the supermarket. She knows its ridiculous but she doesn't want to wander off on her own, as then she gets bombarded with people asking the same mundane questions. ‘How is school going’ ‘Have you decided on where you’re going to college’.

All topics Emma would gladly stay clear from.

 

She's noticed that its a lot of the same people from the party they threw attending as well. Which just like last time, she clocks what’s his face, Robin, chatting up a blonde that looked far too young for him. _This man gets more vile every time._

 

Getting sick of the party Emma wants to leave but knows she can’t not without her parents who honestly look like they're having a pretty good time. So she goes off to wander about the house. She has to admit the Barrettes have a nice house, its huge. Possibly the biggest on the street, and boy do they know it.

But it also has an amazing garden. All guests were advised not to wander too far off into the gardens as it was a literal Maze. But what else was there to do?

 

Emma’s been walking now for about 10 minutes and yes she is completely and utterly lost. And yes everyone else took the advice and didn't wander in so she's completely alone too. The bright side to this is she finally doesn't have to talk mundane small talk with strangers.

Fine, isolation it is. 

 

With that resolutely decided, Emma slumps down on the bench near her. She just hopes she doesn't need to pee soon.

 

After a couple of minutes of isolation, Emma hears the rustle of someone nearby. Suddenly she not so sure if she's excited or nervous. _I mean if someone did want to kill me this would be the perfect place._

 

Sitting up a little straighter and peering out Emma finally sees who’s joined her. The one woman she had been looking out for all day. Emma swan believes in many things but coincidences aren't one of them.

 

Regina approaches Emma with not even a hint of surprise, just a small smile. _So she did know I was here._

 

“You really don’t enjoy parties do you?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing” Emma gets a strange sense of De Ja Vu from the last time Regina sought out Emma for solitude. That didn't particularly end too well. Emma is far more cautious this time.

The suspicion must show on her face as Regina places her hands up in an ‘i mean no harm’ kind of way.

 

“I’m not stalking you I promise. I just saw you walk off down here and figured you might get lost”.

 

“You know that’s absolutely something a stalker would say” Emma counters back in her joking tone. The one that always comes so easy around Regina.

 

Regina’s outburst of laughter seemed to take her by surprise as she tried to right herself.

 

“Touchè”.

 

“Though I suppose if I’m going to get murdered by anyone out here I’m kind of glad it's you”

 

“Well thank you, Emma. That's possibly the nicest compliment I've ever received”

 

“Wow, you sure are hanging around with the wrong people”

 

Emma meant to keep it lighthearted with the jokes but she realized all too soon that the ‘wrong people’ comment might be a little too on the nose. Especially considering they both know they saw Regina and her date last night.

 

Regina seemed to take a minute to find a fitting response. Emma thought maybe she would joke that off like they were doing.

 

“Are you going to ask about it?” Emma doesn’t need to ask her what she’s talking about she knows Regina means Emma seeing her with her date last night.

 

“Should I?”

 

“No, probably not”.

 

“Well then. I won’t”

 

The conversation feels a bit stilted after that. Both sitting there rather quietly. If someone was to walk up to them right now maybe it would seem perfectly normal. Just two people sitting in complete silence looking out at the aesthetically pleasing garden. But Emma knows better. It’s gotten tense.

It seems to happen at some point when they're in a room together. An undeniable something.

 

They both seem to turn to each other at the same time to say something to fill the silence. Laughing at their awkwardness Emma motions for Regina to go first.

 

“Have you decided yet where you’re going to college?” Ah, the classic hated question. Emma should have seen it coming. I mean where else could their conversation go now that would still be safe territory?

 

Seeing the look on Emma’s face though, Regina instantly regrets her question.

 

“I’m going to guess that a large part of why you wandered out into a maze to get lost was partly to stop being asked that question. Right?”

 

Emma just smiles in return with a slight nod of her head.

 

“Sorry”

 

“No, it’s ok. I mean yes it’s pretty much my least favorite conversation right now but that's just because I honestly don't have an answer yet”.

 

Sensing it was a conversation downer, Regina decides to change the topic for both their sakes.

 

“Are you a fan of gardens?” Emma doesn't know if it's because its the most ridiculous question she's ever been asked or if it's because it's Regina that asked it. But Emma bursts out laughing, tears rolling down her eyes kind of laugh. It takes her a solid 5 minutes to pull herself together.

Regina looks equally amused if not slightly embarrassed too.

 

“Ok never mind. Terrible question” And yes it really was a terrible question. It was like one of them ridiculous pickup lines you’d expect to come out of a creepy guys mouth after walking up to you in a garden.

 

“No, no, no way are you taking that back” Emma half manages to get out her response in half fits of laughter.

 

“What, no ‘do you come here often’ instead?”

 

“Ok, laugh it up, Swan. I admit it wasn’t my most eloquent question ever”.

 

“If you were wondering though, no I don’t come here often. Also no it did not hurt when I fell from heaven” Emma was having far too much fun laughing at Regina’s expense and every time the red tinge in her face got slightly darker Emma wanted it to last forever.

 

“Has anyone ever told you Miss Swan that sometimes you are entirely intolerable?”

 

“You know they have actually. But it’s usually outweighed by my likability”

 

Regina could throw a joking insult back, honestly, that's what Emma is waiting for. But for some reason, she just looks at the happy expression on Emma’s face and replies with a bit too honest of a reply.

 

“There is something very endearing about you, Emma Swan”

 

Emma suddenly isn’t laughing anymore. In fact, she has no idea how to respond. It suddenly feels very serious. _Is Regina drunk again? No, she doesn’t seem drunk_. 

Emma realizes she's taking a bit too long to respond as Regina is sitting their calculating Emma’s expression. Apparently, Emma doesn't need to respond, it seems she just got the response she was looking for on Emma’s face without Emma even realizing it. 

Regina sits back in comfortable silence with a calm smile on her face.

Emma’s waiting, for something, anything really. Regina to panic or brush it off. But no she continues sitting there calmly. Happy in compatible silence.

Well, who is Emma to ruin the moment? She leans back comfortably as well her arm brushing against Regina’s as they sit side by side. Neither bothers to move to correct their closeness.

 

 

Emma has no idea how long they sat like that, but the sky was definitely getting darker. Pulling her phone out of her bag, Emma sees missed calls from her parents and a text message asking if she’s ok and that her mom was feeling a bit ill so they headed home.

 

Regina didn't mean to snoop, but she did catch a glimpse of the message on Emma’s phone. She realizes they probably have been out here a while.

 

Emma watches Regina stand, she's not sure if she should follow or if Regina just wants to leave. 

But when Regina turns around looking expectantly at Emma, she grabs her bag and follows Regina out of the maze and back to civilization, without question.

 

They walk in silence, Regina stopping to say goodbye to their hosts. Emma just waves in the distance. She’s feeling incredibly drained all of a sudden.

It isn't until they're walking up to Emma’s house that Regina finally turns to her again.

 

“Well thank you once again for the company, Emma. It's easily becoming my favorite party pastime”

 

Well, that was unexpectedly honest. Emma watches Regina walk away to her own house and has an inexplicable need to tell her something equally embarrassing like ‘every time with you is my favorite’ but she can't allow herself that level of emotional suicide.

 

“Regina?”

 

_ Shit don't be stupid Swan. _

 

“Goodnight” Ok cool she can live with that. Completely normal.

 

“Goodnight Emma”

 

And so yeah maybe Emma watches Regina walk into her house before moving. But well who can judge her?

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter is ready to be posted be warned. Be up soon!
> 
> As always please leave your thoughts <3

Finals are a bitch. Emma loves school, _well ordinarily_. And honestly truly does love her topics. _Well, for the most part_. But no one, not even the most academic people enjoy sitting in an exam for hours on end. It's soul-destroying. And if you do meet anyone that says they do love exams. Run away, they're probably a psychopath.

 

So that's how Emma is laying in bed completely physically and mentally drained. She's halfway through all of her exams, and she thinks she's doing well. But it's so much information for one brain to have to retain.

 

If it wasn’t for the fact that Emma smells bacon cooking downstairs she honestly wouldn't move. But her hunger isn’t to be tested.

 

Dragging her feet downstairs, wearing only a short pair of black sleep shorts, fluffy socks, and her favorite sweater. She knows she must look a wreck. Her hair is shoved up into a bun, curls spilling loose falling across her face. She can’t even bring herself to care. 

 

“Morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling today?”

 

Emma gives a half grunt of recognition to her mom as she flops herself down onto the nearest bar stool.

 

“I just can't wait for it all to be over soon” And yeah if she sounds slightly dramatic well it’s fair enough this time.

 

MM laughs at her daughter's dramatics but has a sympathetic smile at the ready. She remembers with clarity how stressful the last weeks were before graduation.

 

“Well, eat up. Some food will help. And you're nearly through this”

“Which speaking of. I know you have prom coming up in a week. And I was hoping if it isn’t too lame for you to be seen out shopping with your mom if you’d allow me the pleasure of buying your dress”

 

Emma is stunned for a moment, honestly, she’s not really put that much thought into prom. Well aside from the fact of all of her friends decided they should just go as one large group. She knows she should be more excited about it. And it's not even that she's not excited, she just hasn’t given it much space in her mind to be able to really think about it.

But sitting here now looking at the hopeful expression on her mom’s face, she feels guilty that she hadn’t given more thought about it. Because yes, going shopping with her mom for her prom dress, would mean more to her than she could say.

 

“Are you sure? I really don’t need anything fancy. But yes, I would love it for you to come with me” 

 

In a very typical MM way, she's already starting to well up. 

 

“Well how about today? Do you have any plans? It could take your mind off all your stress. Maybe we could grab lunch as well?”

 

And yeah, that honestly sounded like the perfect day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Shopping is exhausting, Emma always wondered what was wrong with those teens she would watch in movies that spent all their times in malls, shopping.

Its fun for like the first 30 minutes, after that well, getting your hair ripped out might be more fun.

 

They're in the last store Emma is willing to go to today, when MM rounds the corner with a proud and relieved smile on her face, holding out a dress she had just found. 

Relenting to try it on, Emma slinks away into the changing rooms for the last time that day. Pulling the dress over her head and zipping the side up the length to fasten it. And for a second she’s stunned. 

The dress is a deep black, falls full length to her ankles. A large slit down the side of the left leg that travels up to her mid-thigh. The top section of it clings to her in the best way possible, fastening up to halter around her neck. It's possibly the most elegant thing Emma has ever worn. And yes, it's perfect. Beyond perfect really.

 

Emma steps out of the changing room for MM to see. She just knows MM will probably cry, an yep, she was right.

 

“Oh, Emma. You look stunning”

 

For once Emma doesn't think that it's just her mom being a mom, because yeah she really did look beautiful. She’s never felt so completely out of her element and yet so confident all at the same time.

 

So, yeah maybe it was four hours of excruciating torment, but it was worth it. She found the dress and had a great day with her mom. For the first time, Emma actually felt pretty excited about the prospect of prom.

 

 

……….......

 

 

Today is it. It's her last exam. Emma could cry with relief. It was finally almost over. She had 30 minutes remaining on the exam and only two questions left. She was feeling confident.

Finishing off the last question and checking through the entire paper to make sure she was happy with what she was submitting, Emma didn't notice the presence of her favorite teacher walk into the room. Which in itself is laughable there isn't usually a moment where Emma can’t sense the woman nearby. That just shows how stressed she's been.

Sitting back paper pushed away Emma finally looks up and meets Regina’s eyes at the front of the room. Mr. O’Hanigan is whispering something to Regina, its probably important, yet her eyes never stray from Emma’s. 

Emma leans back a sigh of relief leaving her, offering possibly the most relieved smile she’s ever worn to Regina.

Regina seems to end her conversation and walk back out of the room, though not before turning and offering Emma a final smile. _Ugh, that woman._

 

Because that’s what its been lately, small knowing smiles and kind gestures. Emma’s been having a hard time trying to figure out what any of it means. But she's pretty sure there was a fundamental shift in their ‘well whatever the hell they are’ since the party.

 

 

Leaving her exam, Emma seeks out her friends all of them laying out on the field looking both exhausted and relieved its all over.

Emma throws herself down across Ruby and Killian's legs. Always careful to leave plenty of room between herself and Neal.

 

“I’m so glad it’s over I could cry. In fact, I might still cry yet”

 

They all seem to have the same sentiment.

 

“Honestly I don't think I’m going to be able to have another coherent thought again for ages” Ruby bashes her head down onto Belle’s shoulder as if in proof of her tired mind.

 

“That’s to say you had coherent thoughts in the first place” That's another thing that changed recently, Belle isn’t as reserved anymore. In fact, it's like she found her confidence. And it's been nice being able to joke around with her.

 

They all laugh along with Belle at Ruby’s expense. But Ruby doesn’t take it to heart, she looks up to Belle with a knowing look in her eyes. Emma’s decided if they haven’t already secretly gotten together then they will have pretty soon. It's undeniable.

 

 

Moments like this she can’t ever seem to wipe the smile off her face. A year ago Emma was a loner in a shitty situation. Now she has the best group of friends anyone could ask for, parents who she knows will always be there for her. A home, and prospects.

Which speaking of prospects, another stress that's been taken off Emma’s shoulders is finally deciding on where she will be attending college. Yale. 

Her parents were so excited they went overboard in buying Yale merchandise for their home. Her dad drinks out of a ‘my kid goes to Yale' mug and swapped out his old college hoodie for Emma’s Yale one.

And it's nice, having this much support. She doesn’t really know why she was so worried about it before.

Ruby is planning on staying here in Maine and taking over the diner for her grandmother. She’s going to attend business classes and learn to make the place her own. 

Killian is attending NYU so at least he will be pretty close by. Belle decided to take a year out to visit her mom in Australia and Neal well she thinks he’s going to the University of Maine and on the side taking on more responsibilities from his dads business.

 

She supposes maybe she should feel worried that she will lose all her friends in a couple of months when they all go their separate ways. But she can’t bring herself to worry about it right now.

 

 

They all stayed out there probably a bit too long if the mostly emptied out school was anything to go by. Emma says her goodbyes to her friends, they're all heading home. But Emma needs to return a few of her books.

 

Dropping the pile off at the library Emma cuts through the hall to the closest exit out of the school. She sees the lights on in room 108 and knows she should just keep walking by.But this woman has a magnetic pull on Emma and she’s honestly in such a good mood right now that she can’t even bring herself to be annoyed about it.

 

The hall is pretty empty, only a few people milling around in the library, so she supposes that's probably why Regina was so surprised to see someone stood in her doorway.

 

“Hi” Well that wasn’t the most eloquent conversation opener Emma had ever started, but it’s a classic she supposes.

 

Regina takes a moment to take in the appearance of Emma. She removes her glasses, running her hand messily through her hair. Which only makes her look that much more unreal. And leans back casually in her seat, that perfect smile in place that only ever seems to be directed at Emma these days.

 

Emma decides a bit of humor would probably be the best approach.

 

“I'm not stalking you I promise” repeating the words Regina once offered Emma. Placing her hands up in the exact same manner. 

 

Regina realizing what Emma was doing, had the most brilliant smile light up her face.

 

“You know that’s absolutely something a stalker would say”

 

Trying her hardest not to laugh, Emma keeps up their little game of memory lane.

 

“Touche”

 

It’s Regina that breaks it with a laugh.

 

“I hear congratulations is in order”

 

Emma strolls in a little too casually, not waiting for a formal invite. She knows she's welcome here.

 

“You mean because my everlasting torment of exams are over?”

 

“Well, yes. That and Yale” That does grab Emma’s attention. She hadn't told Regina where she was going to school. She doesn't know why exactly. Just couldn't find a way to bring it up.

Noting the look of surprise on Emma’s face, Regina feels the need to clarify.

 

“I bumped into your mother yesterday. She’s very excited for you”

 

Emma sits herself down on the top of the desk opposite Regina’s. 

 

“Yeah. It’s sweet. And um, Thank you”

 

“Well?”

 

“Well, what?” 

 

“Aren’t you excited?”

 

“Yes. But, I guess nervous too. And like, it hasn't all really set in yet. Y’know?”

 

“I can imagine. You know, I'm not surprised”Regina has that calculating look on her face again.

 

“At what my nerves? Or my inability to adapt to my reality?” Emma always tries to throw a joke out into any situation that feels even slightly weighted with emotions. She figures Regina knows this by now. 

 

“I'm not surprised by your success. I’ve always known you're going to do remarkable things in life Emma Swan”.

 

Emma hates the burning sensation she can feel at the back of her eyes. Telling her she’s trying not to cry. She hates being emotional in front of anyone. 

Noticing that she perhaps affected Emma more than she meant to. Regina got up from her desk and walked around until there was barely a foot between them.

 

“I look forward to seeing the woman you become”

 

Emma wants to say something but she’s worried if she opens her mouth something embarrassing will happen like she will either burst into tears or throw herself at the woman in front of her. Neither were suitable options. So instead she offered the only smile she can, and hopes its enough for Regina right now.

 

Regina doesn’t wait for a response from Emma. Its something that always endears Emma and yet pisses her off at the same time. Is how well Regina can read her emotions.

Instead, Regina grabs her belongings and turns off the lights, signaling Emma to follow her out.

It isn't until Emma reaches the parking lot that she realizes now is the moment to say goodbye and go home. 

 

“Can I offer you a ride home?”

 

Emma wants to say ‘no, thank you’ so she could have some time to figure out her thoughts on the walk home. But Regina looks so hopeful and as pathetic as it might be. Emma just wants to be in her space right now, no matter how confusing it might be.

So perhaps it's because of that or temporary insanity that has Emma sliding into the passenger side of Regina’s car. 

 

It's odd how completely not awkward it is. The drive back is in compatible silence, with just the radio playing softly between them. And yeah if she happened to noticed Regina took the long way home, well, she wasn’t going to mention it.

Because right now at this moment, Emma has never felt so content in another persons company.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've reached the end!
> 
> But fear not, as I stated from the beginning this story was always going to be a two-parter.
> 
> Also, this chapter is twice as long as the others, so there's that.
> 
> And, well, be warned... You all wanted longing. You got it.
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts <3

Prom. A night she never really put much thought into before in her life. But now, she’s standing there in front of her mirror waiting for her friends to pick her up and she’s giddy. A feeling Emma could never claim to feel before.

Her make-up is immaculate, highlighting her features perfectly. Her hair for once is up, soft curls pulled back into a loose elegant up-do. she has a pair of silver drop earrings in and a silver matching bracelet. She has black heels that aren't too high but aren't particularly short either, they go perfect with the dress.

 

The only thing missing from this moment is her parents. Her dad got the call that his aunt had been in a minor accident. She wanted to go with them, but they didn’t want her to miss out on prom. So instead she got dressed up earlier than intended and took all the cliche happy family prom pictures with them before they left. Leaving her a stash of emergency money and an empty house.

Emma guesses most of her classmates would be ecstatic if they were in her position. An empty house, no parents on prom night. But as its been painfully established, Emma really isn't the party type of person. In fact, she’s kind of dreading being home alone.

 

The horn blaring out on the street pulls her from her thoughts. No doubt that it's her friends being their usual obnoxiously lovable selves.

 

Emma walks out, locking the door behind her. Killian whistles as she makes her way toward them.

 

“Holy shit Swan, Who did you plan to murder tonight?”

 

And yeah so she has to admit she really is feeling this look.

 

“Shut up dorkus” She loves her natural banter between herself and Killian.

 

Emma knows she should only be focused on her friends right now. All of them looking incredible, yet, and she hates herself for it, but she can't help but notice Regina’s car isn’t in her drive. And she gets that nervous bubbling feeling at the thought of Regina being at her prom and getting to see her like this.

 

 

…………........

 

 

It becomes pretty clear to Emma two hours into prom that Regina is definitely not there and she won't be making an appearance tonight. And yeah, maybe that thought did bring down Emma’s mood enough to happily accept the very spiked punch Killian brought with him.

 

Still, despite her disappointment at Regina not being there. Emma can easily say it's one of the best nights of her life. Yes, that could be the alcohol talking, she is pretty drunk. But mostly, she got to spend the whole night laughing with her friends and dancing. And for once all those movies she watched growing up showing unrealistic expectations of senior year and prom, suddenly didn't feel so unrealistic anymore. She got it now, the whole enjoying the school experience thing. She was finally a part of the group that could say she has, even if it only was her final year she enjoyed. That’s better than some get.

 

 

Emma staggers out of the limo, feeling far too drunk now. Suddenly she's glad her parents aren't here tonight to see her in this state.

The limo pulls off with her friends yelling their goodbye’s out the window. Apparently not caring about neighbor hospitality as its nearing midnight and most are asleep.

 

After spending a solid five minutes looking through her bag for her keys, Emma starts to panic. She can't find them anywhere she’s going to be trapped outside of her house all night.

_Well, that's one way to end a night I guess._

 

Emma sits down on the floor of her porch leaned back against the front door. It seems like as good a place to sleep as any to a tired and intoxicated Emma.

 

She doesn't know how long she's sat there but figures she might have fallen asleep now, as there is a pair of feet in front of her wrapped up in socks without shoes. She follows the strangers' feet in front of her up to the persons face to reveal their identity.

Stood in front of her with an amused smirk on her face, wearing a large comfy sweater and leggings is Regina.

 

“What are you doing here?” Emma knows she shouldn't really be that surprised that Regina is there after all she did live next door and there was no way she didn't hear the commotion of her friends leaving the street a few minutes ago.

 

_I wonder if she was asleep?_

 

 

“Well, I was wondering what you were doing on the floor. But I think I have a pretty good idea now”

 

Oh yeah, she imagines she probably does smell like alcohol. People that say you can’t smell vodka are liars pure and simple.

Emma just offers up what she's hoping is somewhat of a charming smile.

 

“Oh y'know just taking in the evening air”

 

Regina’s snort of amusement tells Emma she isn’t entirely not entertained by Emma’s drunken state.

 

“Really? See and here I was thinking that maybe you had locked yourself out?”

 

“Does that sound like something a responsible me would do?”

 

She realizes she sounds like an idiot but she's not exactly in her clearest state of mind right now.

 

“No, but it does sound like something an intoxicated you might do?”

 

Regina reaches for Emma’s bag out of her lap. Emma almost wants to protest. Not because she has anything embarrassing to note in her bag, but it's just simply from the arrogance of Regina not caring about any boundaries at that moment.

Emma is about to say something when Regina pulls out a set of keys that look remarkably like Emma’s house keys from Emma’s bag.

 

_Hey, those are my keys._

 

Now would probably be a great time to be embarrassed at the fact that Emma threw herself to the floor in desperation over losing her keys only to realize they were in her bag the whole time.

 

Regina has the most shit-eating grin on her face as she steps up closer to Emma, leaning over her to unlock the door. Without giving any warning Regina pushes open Emma’s front door. Said front door that she was leaning her full weight against.

Which, is how Emma finds herself laying on the floor looking up at a laughing Regina towering above her.

 

“That was mean”

 

“They don’t call me the Evil Queen for nothing, you know”

 

_Huh, so she knew she was nicknamed the evil queen at school._

 

Seeming to take pity on her, Regina reached her hand down to pull Emma up from the floor.

Emma doesn't really have a lot of experience with being drunk if she had she would have known that getting up too quickly off the floor is a super bad idea. She expects to fall back down. But the arms currently circled around her waist seem to stop her.

Once the dizziness passes Emma is left with feeling like her skin is on fire. She imagines that isn't a normal alcohol reaction. so unless she’s having an allergic reaction, she’s going to assume it has to do with the fact of feeling Regina’s skin on hers.

Emma looks down to where Regina’s body is pressed against hers, then back up to Regina’s face. And unless it's her drunken imagination, she doesn't think she's the only person affected by their current position.

Regina gently steps back out of Emma’s grasp and shuts her front door behind her.

Only then does Emma realize she's alone drunk in her house with Regina.

This should probably be the part when she panics.

 

Regina seems to ignore the awkward question hanging in the air and instead leads Emma to the stairs to sit down whilst Regina takes off Emma’s shoes.

Emma for her part doesn’t say anything, she doesn't move. Hell, she's afraid to even breathe. Terrified that one wrong move or word and this moment would be gone like it never even happened.

 

Regina neatly places her shoes by the side of the stairs and gently takes Emma’s arm in support to help her up to her room.

Trying her hardest to remember to breathe, Emma remembers the last time Regina was in her room all too well.

She plays that memory on a loop most nights.

 

It's freaking Emma out how completely not freaked out Regina is. She's being perfectly calm and collected. As though she isn't aware that she has a drunken Emma in her hands completely at her mercy.

Instead, she moves around with confidence pulling out a pair of pajamas for Emma to change into whilst she grabs her a glass of water downstairs.

Emma appreciates Regina’s help more than she can say, and although she appreciated the PJ option, she's far too exhausted to try and put her legs through trouser holes.

Instead, she pulls on a large oversized t-shirt that just covers past all the parts it needs to. Leaving pretty much the entire expanse of her legs on display.

 

Regina comes back into the room and stops dead in her tracks for a moment. Emma assumes it's probably because of her lack of clothing.

However, Regina decides to not comment on it. She just walks past where Emma is stood hands her the glass of water with a strained order of ‘drink’ and hangs Emma’s dress up in her wardrobe.

 

Emma hasn't been able to take her eyes off her, not even for a second. Not whilst Regina clears away the belongings on Emma’s bed so Emma can lay down, and not while Regina closes her blinds and turns off her light.

Emma hasn't moved, not an inch. She can’t. She's frozen on the spot.

 

Emma wonders if Regina will just walk out now as calculated as she had done everything else. Leaving Emma standing there staring after her.

But she doesn’t. She moves toward Emma in slow movements as if not to startle her. Takes the glass of water out of her hands and places it beside her bed. Then she walks behind Emma. And until Emma feels Regina’s hands in her hair, she forgot what it felt like to breathe.

 

Emma had forgotten about the intricate hair-do, clearly, Regina hadn’t missed it.

And agonizingly slowly, one by one, Regina pulls the pins out of Emma's hair letting it fall loose in waves down her back.

She can feel Regina stood behind her no longer moving. She isn’t touching her either. But Emma can feel her. Feel the heat from her against her back.

She wants to fall back toward her, but even in her intoxicated state, she knows that would push past the boundaries they have been working hard to keep in place.

So she stands still. Dead still.

 

Regina finally comes back around to face her, Emma wonders if she needed a minute. She wouldn't call her out on it.

She’s not sure what she’s waiting for. She imagines she's waiting for Regina to finally leave.

However when Regina does finally look like she's about to say goodnight Emma’s hand reaches out. Slowly, as if to give Regina time to back away if she wants. She never does though. She just watches every centimeter that Emma moves closer to her.

A lock of Regina’s own hair had fallen out of her messy bun. Emma doesn't know what compels her to do so, but she reaches across Regina’s face and tucks the hair behind her ear. Regina never once moves out of her grasp. But Emma can see how her breathing changes.

 

“Thank you” Emma’s thank you is so quiet if it wasn’t for that fact she is practically breathing the same air as Regina right now, she doubts Regina would have heard her.

 

Regina just swallows harshly and nods her head slightly as a response.

 

Emma relents finally giving Regina a chance to breathe as she steps back away from her to her bed.

 

“Goodnight, Regina”

 

Seemingly remembering where she is and what she was supposed to be doing, Regina finally finds her voice.

 

“Goodnight, Emma”

 

And yes Emma lays there awake listening to Regina leave her house and even long after she's gone. No matter how tired she was before all this, she feels intensely awake now.

 

 

…………............

 

 

 

Its been almost a week since prom. Which yeah you guessed it, means Graduation is here.

Its been a weird week too. Classes are done, so she didn't have much of a reason to be in school right now. And home well, that's the opposite. It’s been hectic. David and MM have been running around like mad getting everything ready for Emma’s graduation, and she honestly can't say just how much she appreciates it. Because since prom Emma’s been kind of numb. It like nothing quite feels in focus, she doesn't know what day of the week it is most of the time. So having parents pointing her in the correct direction every day has seriously saved her ass.

 

She knows why she's so caught up into her own mind. You see this whole year Emma had been sure of one thing. That she had an embarrassingly unreciprocated crush on her English lit teacher.

 

But, prom blurred so many lines. And the thing is Emma keeps playing it over in her mind. They never did anything. Technically no lines were crossed. But holy shit did it feel like they were.

Every exchange, every look felt charged with something Emma had never felt before.

 

See, Emma Swan might be academically intelligent but she's never had that many life experiences to note. So when she was lying in bed that night after prom when Regina left. It came crashing at her so suddenly she couldn't breathe. She is in love with Regina.

And if that isn’t the most tragic thing she’s ever heard, well then she doesn’t know what is.

 

 

She hasn’t seen Regina since that night. She imagines Regina is off somewhere also analyzing the exchange but not the same way Emma is. No, she imagines for Regina it’s immense regret.

So yeah she’s finding it a little difficult to breathe right now.

She's glad everyone around her thinks its because of graduation and the thought of moving off to college soon. Not that she's fucked herself up so emotionally that she doesn’t know how to dig herself back out.

So, yeah here Emma stands in her cap and gown surrounded by her friends and loved ones and she should be feeling the best she has ever felt. But, still, she can’t breathe.

She knows she will look back one day to these pictures seeing the proud look on her parents face, seeing her smile next to them that never quite reaches her eyes. It feels completely automatic.

 

She knows realistically Regina is here somewhere, she's pretty sure its obligatory for teachers to attend graduation. But it doesn't change the fact that despite that Regina hasn’t sought her out once. Complete silence. And that numbing feeling creeps back in.

 

Emma surprises herself that she even manages to get through it. She thinks when she looks back in thought to this day she doubts she will remember much. Just a blur.

 

 

She's determined to make the most out of tonight though, Granny's is throwing a huge party for all the graduates it's turning into a huge street party. Everyone is going to be there, students, teachers and parents alike.

So Emma refuses to let this moment slip her by too. It might be one of the last chances she has to celebrate with her friends and family like this. So, she put the effort in. She's wearing a white dress, its form-fitting and lands mid-thigh. She's wearing a dark blue cardigan with it and sandals. Her hair is in loose curls leftover from graduation. If anyone was to look at her they’d have no idea what a mess she felt like internally.

 

Pushing her feelings down worked for a large part of the party. She's not allowed herself to think of Regina. She never showed up at the party anyway. She’s spent time with her parents as they gush over her to their friends, and she's laughed and danced with her friends.

Everything was great until they all started talking about school. Emma was barely listening to the conversation instead watching her mom and dad dance with love in their eyes. But the comment of ‘The evil queen won't be back next year’ pulls her out of her happy thoughts.

 

“Wait, what did you say?” If it had been another day maybe Emma would feel slightly more embarrassed at how her voice shook.

 

“Yeah Miss Mills apparently isn’t coming back for the next year. Apparently, she’s leaving Storybrooke”.

 

And that's all it took for that numbing feeling to creep back in again.

Regina was leaving. She was moving, everyone in town knew except Emma. She couldn't even be bothered to tell her. She wants to be angry but she’s just numb.

 

She’s vaguely aware of the half-assed excuse she offers to her friends about not feeling well and that she was going to get some air.

She honestly doesn't even care what anyone thinks of her right now.

 

Emma walks away from the party as far as she can until she can hear the quiet. The sound of waves is the only thing she can hear now. She’s thankful it's not too cold tonight to sit by the beach.

 

 

She isn’t left alone long. She doesn't even need to turn her head. She knows. She’s the only person who ever seems to follow Emma out into the quiet.

 

“You really don’t like parties” Regina tries to open with their usual jokes but senses Emma is in no mood for light-hearted banter right now. In fact, she realizes Emma won’t even look at her.

 

“Emma?”

 

Still, Emma sits there numb. She's thankful she isn’t crying because god, does she want to right now.

 

Regina sits tentatively next to Emma.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“I don’t know” It comes out far too quite but Regina’s just glad she’s talking.

 

“Hey, talk to me”

 

“Why?”

 

She doesn't even sound angry, just exhausted.

 

“Maybe I can help?”

 

Emma wants to laugh. How can she help? She's the reason Emma feels like utter shit. But she can't say that. She can’t tell her any of it. Not about her feelings. Because, yes she might be angry but she knows its not actually Regina’s fault. She didn't ask Emma to have feelings for her.

 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You should go back to the party”

 

“Why would I go to the party if you won't be there?”

 

And see its stuff like that, things that she can’t determine if Regina is just trying to be nice and make her feel better, or if there is something else to it. The unknown is so exhausting.

 

“When do you leave?”

 

So, yeah, ok maybe Emma is slightly angry.

Regina winces at Emma’s question. Her happy mood suddenly turning slightly more somber.

 

“So you heard about that, huh?”

 

“You know what they say about small towns”. Emma isn't sure if she was trying to make a joke but it just sounds flat.

 

Regina just sits there in silence for a few minutes. Seemingly trying to find the right thing to say.

 

“I was going to tell you. But I didn't want to ruin graduation for you, you’ve had so many ruined moments in life. You deserved a good one” Emma thinks maybe she should be pissed at Regina for being so arrogant as to think she has that much effect on Emma. But then, she really isn't wrong. And they both know it.

 

 

“You didn't answer my question”

 

“I leave in two weeks”

 

Emma just nods her recognition. She doesn't trust herself to speak.

A few more minutes of silence and Emma feels suffocated, she needs to leave. She stands abruptly with a quick turn to Regina.

 

“Well thank you for everything, and good luck” She knows it doesn't sound heartfelt. But it's all she has. Quickly turning to retreat.

 

“Wait, Emma. Please”

 

Emma stops but she can't quite face her.With a heavy sigh, Regina walks up to her.

 

“I have something for you” Regina pulls out a small box neatly gift-wrapped out of her bag and hands it over tentatively to Emma.

 

Emma doesn't want to take it, but she's not sure what else she can do at this moment.

Regina is watching her expectantly, so she slowly unwraps the box.

Inside sits a beautiful silver necklace with a delicate silver swan pendant at the base.

It’s beautiful. That's all Emma can think.

 

She loses herself for a moment as she lets her fingers trace over the pendant like its the most precious thing she's ever been gifted. And it just might be.

 

“Thank you” Neither comments of how Emma’s voice catches.

 

“I’m truly thankful that I was gifted the pleasure of knowing you, Emma Swan. For however short of a time I had, It will be the most memorable”

 

Now Emma knows she’s crying and she both loves and hates this woman that much more.

Regina reaches forward taking Emma’s face gently in her hands, as she leans in and places a kiss to Emma’s cheek, just shy of the corner of her mouth. Its completely and utterly innocent, but to Emma, it feels that a hurricane of emotions.

They only thing she knows is she needs to leave now before she breaks down entirely.

 

“Goodbye, Regina” She can't bring herself to look Regina in the eye, nor wait for her response. She walks away the fasted she ever has before, not bothering to look back at the woman she's leaving alone on the beach.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Things move by in a blur after that. Regina did leave and her parents went over to say goodbye but Emma never did.

She couldn't do it again.

 

 

Summer comes to an end. Leaving Emma packed up and ready to start the next chapter in her life.

 

Sure she's hurt and sad but also she's so fucking grateful. Because despite everything this will be the best year she's ever had. And although it hurts now one day she will be grateful for Regina. Her teacher, the woman next door.

Her first love.

If nothing else, she knows that can’t be taken from her. Her memories are her own.

And the memory of Regina, well, that might just be the best memory she will ever have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, yeah sorry about that. It was a heavy chapter to write.
> 
> And for any of you that might be upset that nothing ever technically happened between Emma and Regina, well, I had never intended for them to get together whilst Emma was still in school. I didn't want their relationship to be tainted.
> 
> But as I said, this is a two-parter story. The next work is 'Try Again' which will be taking place a few years from where this leaves off.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed it thus far <3


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